Emiru
HIIII :3 BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!! ⭐🌸 YAPS + STORIES + REACTS + VARIETY GAMING ⭐🌸 FIRST TIME WITCHER 3 STARTING TODAY!!! :D ⭐🌸 @EMIRU247
04-22-2026 · 6h 33m
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And it's the fantasy
My heart gets a beat when you walk in the room
And you go boom, boom, boom
You go zoom, zoom, zoom
You're my favorite place, you're my love, my friend
I wanna be with you until the end
I need my heart and my soul for you
To make you see through
I'm fuc-uc-uc, baby, can't you see?
Please, I'm a rescue bee!
Even if we're fuc-uc-uc, I know it's more for me
You fuc-uc-uc, you fuc-uc-uc
You fuc-uc-uc, you fuc-uc-uc
You fuc-uc-uc, you fuc-uc-uc
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
You fuc-uc-uc, you fuc-uc-uc
Can't you see we've got a rescue team?
We've been moving, I know what you want from me.
You've been moving, more than you could ever see.
You've been moving, more than you could ever see.
You've been moving, more than you could ever see.
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Thank you for the 5 gifts, thank you Azura, thank you, thank you.
I won Master Baker guys!
I won!
I got first place, quicky, thank you for the 40 months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yeah, I literally did like almost nothing the last two days, I kinda just needed two
days to like, rot.
I did like 80% play league.
Mint Nella, thanks for the 35 months.
Rotters, welcome back.
Thank you.
Halcyon Strains, welcome back.
Baby, thanks for the eight months.
Thank you guys, oh my gosh.
It was like I've been gone for a long time for some reason.
Momo, thank you for the prime, welcome.
Honestly, I did not think that I was gonna win Master Baker.
I was like, bro, there's either gonna be some Mario Party
bullshit or I'm just gonna fuck up early bath yet.
I mean, to be fair, that almost did happen.
So the first day I did by far the best,
we made ice cream sandwiches, right?
And mine were the only ones that were
kind of ice cream sandwiches.
And then what was next?
Oh, Claire's, me and Ray were handcuffed together.
We made a Claire's.
And I don't know if people realize this on the stream,
but everything that me and Ray burned in, I made.
We didn't use any of the stuff that she made, but she still made huge improvements.
So we were just like, whatever, we just have to do it.
So, you know, Nixster, Akira, Kralp, Phil, Velocity, and Noah, thank you guys for those
subs and resubs.
Thank you, thank you.
And then I made my Sour Patch Kids cake, which honestly, I didn't taste it, but I feel like
it was probably kind of gross.
Um, I think that's why I got bored.
Then she, thanks for the resub and John Tino, thank you.
And then, uh, the last day was horrible, but...
Yeah, so now I get a free trip to Disneyland.
Yippee!
Very cool. Although, um, it was off-stream, so you guys didn't see this, but...
Mochi, thanks for 26 months.
It was off-stream, but actually...
I think it was the first day of the show
Cutie messaged me and she was like hey
I have some extra tickets to Disneyland that I can't use if you and anyone else want to use them
So me Emily Jacob and super we went to Disneyland the first days
Offstream so we already got the prize
Yeah, it was super fun and on honestly a lot of the trip was um we were we were following Emily around
and she was wanting to do all the different rides and stuff.
We did Space Mountain, we did the Go-Kart things,
we did Big Thunder Mountain Railroad,
we did the Peter Pan ride and the Snow White ride,
we did the Yeti ride.
There was like some high school musical shit going on.
It was people just randomly like flash mobbing,
breaking out, dancing and singing the songs.
It was kind of... it was something.
Mochi and Loa Foa, thank you guys for the re-tubs.
Did Emily see Toad? That's not Disney!
Road Toad isn't Disney, that's... that's Universal.
I'm super! Together, together!
You know, they were singing that shit.
I'm super. Bro, I told super when I get back.
Holy shit! What the fuck?!
Wait, what the fuck?! What the fuck?!
Oh, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?
Um...
Um, thank you! What the fuck?
Swag syndrome! 500%?! What the hell?
Thank you! Oh my god, I don't even know what to say! Thank you!
Oh, what the hell?
Thank you, swag syndrome! Holy shit!
Wait, what was I saying? The super... Um...
Oh, I'm gonna play Deadlock!
I'm gonna play Deadlock!
I I told super I would so holy shit. Thank you swag syndrome. Holy shit. Thank you, bro
No, what to say? Oh my lord. Thank you
Holy shit
Damn damn swag syndrome. Damn. He really is kind of you swaggy. Oh
That's fucking crazy heart of lawn. Hi, Abusa thinking guys for the resubs. Thank you
she will play the trash game deadlock the trash game okay I've literally only
heard good things about deadlock so this is the first deadlock slander I've ever
heard actually is someone calling it the trash game oh my goodness thank you
thank you swag syndrome holy shit no problem hope everyone is doing well I
I mean, I would say I'm doing pretty well, but would chat say they're doing well?
Oh my goodness, where's the 600 all Pokemon?
Oh shit.
So, um...
These two cost about $350 to win at the arcade.
Yep. Please don't ban me, but Tip2Tip had better quality mics on bikes than you on your mainstream PC.
Is it really that bad? I don't- I don't think I changed anything. I don't think I changed anything.
Although, um, I- well, I- wait, is it really that bad? Because it's pretty bad?
I'm not going to go into too much.
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Hello?
Is this better?
Emory was pregnant with X-Tremolies baby.
Wasn't I supposed to be the husband?
That was awesome here.
What?
Oh, huh.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Wasn't I supposed to be the husband?
How is Arthur here? What? Oh, hi Arthur. I'm sorry. I've sent a past streamer, dude.
How is it this bad after 11 years? I swear like once a week I have some kind of tech issues intro.
I'm so sorry. You probably have a cheap ass XR cable with a terrible shielding so any powered cables
cause buzzing.
Yeah. Stuart will thank you for the five gifted. I didn't know that that was a thing.
I just, Mr. Arthur, I instacarded my my XLR cable. Um, can't, oh, Mr. Arthur, if it's
not too much trouble, would you send me on Discord a recommendation for an XLR cable
and maybe that'll fix it. Is it still bad? Necromancer, thanks for the sub. Nothing is
different from usual. I swear, I haven't changed anything. Okay, how's this? Wily Gaming, thanks
for the gift sub. Now it's quiet. What the fuck? Okay, well, the first time chatter
said you're fine. They're trolling you. It's sad that I low key trust the first time chatter
more than you guys. Hello? Okay, how's this? How's this? It's good? Okay, whatever.
Alright, it's good enough, right? Hope you enjoyed your LA visit. Happy your home. Thanks
Fire Rescue Guy! I'm glad to be home too. Me, Chloe, thanks for 13 months. I mean, honestly,
last two days were the first days and like a long time more I wasn't doing anything like any
stream work I think but I feel great now I'm refreshed and ready to lock in uh I was talking
about the Disney trip right you guys want to see pictures well I don't really have a lot of pictures
I didn't take a lot of pictures um over the weekend wait you guys want to see the salmon I made
yesterday or not two days ago I think two days ago. Hey Owens, thanks for the 14
months and way too chaotic thank you. I might pull it up on my
It was her.
Hada!
I made an salmon.
It was very good.
Very, very good.
Steamed vegetable, thanks for the...
Maybe it's just her voice.
What do you mean it's just my voice?
You can actually cook, well, I'm okay.
But I will say,
I think that the reason that I did veteran master baker, even though I don't bake, is because, bro,
I'm not judging other streamers because obviously like I'm a fucking like I'm a fucking loser. Let's be like, let's be honest, like,
I struggle in certain areas of life, but when they were all talking like, bro, have you ever cooked before?
I mean, I would make like mac and cheese in college. Like, I don't know. I just have a meal prep chef.
Yeah, me too dude. I've never cooked before, like it's just Door Dash and I was like, oh my god, but the thing is like I don't cook all the time, I just enjoy cooking.
Like if I don't feel like cooking, I won't, but I like to cook. So I was definitely the first in there with the most experience.
Oh
You're gonna get cooked in the all-star season. Oh, yeah, I heard rumors that in two years
Here you want us to do an all-star season where it's all the winners of the previous seasons
Come down there. Well, I hate the light counter. Can we get rid of that?
Hi, Ro. Thanks for the eight months and Glipsmorp seven. Thank you. Thank you
Thank you. Thank you. Great demon. Thank you for the bits
Stop saying like
I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me.
Oph, thank you for the 10! Thank you! Thank you, Oph!
Appreciate it very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I say like and um a lot, I'm sorry. It's because
I get, I get nervous and I think faster than I can speak.
So, or I think slower than I speak.
It's one of the, so I just end up using a lot of filler words, you know.
What's the announcement?
Oh well, I forgot about the announcement.
I mean, a lot of people already know what it is.
I think you guys will probably be very excited.
It will be awesome.
It's yours from the trip.
So here's a picture of um, the first day Disney group, I don't know why it's like we're doing that, I don't know why it's doing that, yeah and I heard that Emily's taking a little break, but I'm sure she'll get a lot of love when she comes back so that would be nice, right?
Um, and then...
Other photos do I have.
Oh! The escape room! What did you guys think of the escape room?
No, it was so scary!
Michael Van was in back pain, thank you!
So, uh, after one of the episodes, me, Bonnie, Ray, Aria, Lily, Pichu, we went to a whole contact escape room.
Woah! Oh my god!
Okay, so you guys couldn't see a lot at the beginning because Jacob like explained it after he said that the reason the camera kept getting super blurry is because
Their security cameras were just beaming it. I don't know if people will notice means the cameras were beaming infrared light so they could see in the dark and then the beam of infrared was fucking up our camera and that's why I kept going out of focus.
going out of focus so I don't know if you guys saw cuz I couldn't see what I was
skipping through the VOD bro when they first ran in the room one of them like
grabbed me like get down and then I like was like I'm sorry and then he grabbed
my ankle and dragged me around by my ankle it was so I was just like what the
fuck do I do it was crazy and also I think I was a hundred percent getting
targeted. Bro, they tased me like eight fucking times and it hurts so bad. I mean it was like
tolerable pain but I did not enjoy that shit at all. I did not enjoy it. They were like,
I felt like I was getting like stabbed in the side. Oh my god, deserve for what?
Deserve for what? Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was crazy. Yo Red X, thank you for these three months.
uh look at this
that's our one of our group pictures at the end
i don't know if showing on the phone is really good but it was a fun group and then after and then
after i fucking i fucking love eating and i especially love eating with with girls after
I went to dinner with aria and lily and aria took us to this amazing hot-pot place
I wish I took more pictures. It was like a little oh my god. Look at our spread
No, Narnia, thanks for three bucks
And you close your blinds your lack of care is what I like the blinds open I want the blinds open
Cuz I want the sunlight I
I see red. That's the meat. The delicious, delicious rib eye and wagyu and more skits.
Sundance. Alex, thank you guys for the resubs. It was so awesome.
And it's like kind of all the pictures I got but yeah I won super cool honestly I
I was genuinely surprised at the muffins that I made like they actually I'm
telling you they actually tasted like normal muffins they were like cinnamon
spiced orange muffins I was like wait this is correct this is I didn't try one
on with the cream cheese on it but I was like I should try to make that again but like with
proper proper ratios and stuff no they weren't cupcakes bro Austin was just saying that to try
to sabotage me but they work they were muffins they were muffins bro they were he was trying to
sabotage me bro you've never had a muffin that was like a sweet muffin like a lemon poppy seed
muffin or like um like a blueberry muffin with like the like glaze on the top
but whatever dude they were muffins marshmallow thanks for the nine months
it was not a fucking cupcake ah it was not oh my gosh you know the muffin man I
am I am the muffin man now it was not cake oh my gosh drop the recipe I can't
I don't even remember what the fuck I did
Why did I I don't even remember what I did like I didn't even measure anything. I was just like
That seems okay
That seems fine
You know
Doesn't I mean how would I remember yeah, I just cooked up some bullshit. Oh my god. Did you guys see the scones that I made I?
Since I couldn't read chat or like check the stream or anything. I didn't know what all you guys saw. Oh
Oh my god, the first, so I had to make scones, the first patch of scones that I made.
They went in the oven, like little things of dough with chocolate chips like this big.
But when I opened the oven, it was just all dark brown, flat, melted together.
Like just like a tray of crispy burnt.
I was like, what the fuck happened?
I was going to give up.
Yo, Madagascans, thank you for the 23 months, thank you, thank you.
That was, that was horrible.
Rosanna tried it!
Which she ate it!
No...
Martin, thank you for the one year.
She did!
Wait, what in her...
She nearly died!
No!
Wait, what did her face look like?
She...
Oh no.
Why Vern, thanks for 4 months.
She almost threw up.
Okay, well, thank God I made more, right?
Well, to be fair, when she ate it, it was even worse than it should have been because...
So what happened was I opened the oven, I took one look at it, I was like, it's fucked.
So I just closed the oven, I didn't even bother to take it out.
So it baked an additional double the time.
So not only was it fucked texture and consistency wise, but it also was like giga-burned.
So yeah.
Yo, Aaron King, thank you for the prime.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Time for you to go to MasterChef next.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
When I was in the airport to fly to LA, I was sitting in a little cafe in the airport and they were playing MasterChef on the TV and fucking Jamie, I gumdrop was on MasterChef!
I was like, but what the heck? But I couldn't watch enough to see her talk or anything, but I saw her in the background on the show.
Yeah, it was cool.
Yeah, I didn't get to watch her. She's on at the airport.
yeah but she she makes a lot of food content so it made sense it definitely
made sense I would say very very very cool oh my gosh also I didn't know what
game to play today because I have a proud amount of sponsor tomorrow and I was
like I don't really want to start a new game and have to switch it but like I
don't know if I want to just do like one day of PvP swap so I think I'm just
I'm just gonna start Witcher 3 today and then um yeah, here you are, thanks for 49 months.
Yeah, I've never played any of the Witcher games before so it is my uh my first experience
with it.
Playing it.
Everything.
Yeah, next is gonna be my birthday, happy birthday Mk2, happy birthday, oh Danny, thanks
for making it so much.
That reminds me, it was Allie's birthday recently.
I don't know if she wants me to say the exact thing.
But, say happy birthday to Allie, guys.
It was her birthday.
I missed it.
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
Oh my god, what the heck?
Not, lost egg, thank you for the 100 gift and holy shit.
Oh my god, thank you.
Thank you, MOST, or is it MOST egg?
Is it MOST egg or MOST egg?
Thank you for the 100!
Thank you so much, what the heck?
Thank you!
Oh my gosh, thank you so, so much.
Yes, happy birthday, Allie.
You didn't play the other 32 Claire obscure games
I've ever played.
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Thank you, thank you, Rosanna tries, Emmys, Eisen, or Bell, I'll watch the slip.
I could not see anything, obviously, during the streams.
Y'all were off.
Honestly, you know what?
It was kind of peaceful, not having to see you guys,
yeah, bet me, and bully me, all stream.
It was so peaceful.
You know, Jack, thanks for the five months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yeah, I said it.
I said it.
It was so peaceful.
So it was for us too, oh, what?
So it was better just to insult me
with I can't even say anything.
I see how it is.
I see how it is.
I don't understand.
Yo, Beaky, thanks for 32 months.
What is this?
Gold.
Excuse me.
What is that space she's making?
Oh, you think it's maybe it's good maybe it's good
Wait that does that does seem positive doesn't it I think that she liked it
Excuse me.
Wow, not bad.
You needed to tie your hair.
I mean, honestly, I have so much hair
that sometimes when I tie it up,
it gives me a headache.
Rhea, thank you for the 14 months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
How did she fuck up this bad?
I think that she liked it.
I think that she liked it.
Oh, no!
Okay, if you are not aware, these are my scones.
I did initially put them in like separate little things, and they all melted together into one pool of sludge.
Yeah, so I think what happened is I just put like way too much butter in it, so I'm trying
to stop the buzzing.
I will take Arthur's advice so I can get a new cable.
Is that better?
Oh, well, thank God.
Thank God I made more.
I was not planning to try to make new scones until one of the judges came to me and was
like, oh, 15 minutes is enough time to make another batch.
And I was like, really?
And I started sprinting.
Yo, OMG, look, Reaper, thank you for the prime.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh, yeah, the camera kept getting blurry because of the infrared from the security cameras, unfortunate.
Dude, Patrick actually carried me, bro, thank god he said that, oh my god, he saved my stupid ass, holy shit.
Okay, well, six, two, nine, three, that's it.
Um, your body is making 47,
and your body is five.
Oh, your body, look at that!
Body's in sunburn!
Hey!
Help!
Help!
Okay, thanks for three years.
Holy shit, yo!
Mastake, thank you for the hundred and cat, what the heck?
Thank you!
Thank you, Mastake.
Oh my gosh, thank you.
I don't know if I'm saying the name right,
but thank you so, so much.
Thank you.
Thank you, I really appreciate it.
Wow.
Holy shit, so many gifts there.
Oh my goodness, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I appreciate that.
Holy shit.
And most egg, post egg.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This is what you were supposed to make.
So you guys have five minutes to plan.
You have a note on your...
Oh, yeah! I never went back and...
I never went back and watched the, um...
the, like, instruction things that you guys got to watch.
Where they taught you guys how to actually make them.
I never went back in the vlogs and watched them,
so I still haven't seen them.
And everyone at home...
I don't know what they look like.
...they want to make these things. Starting now.
Yo.
Welcome back, bakers.
Oh, cutie made them herself.
Continental breakfast.
Pots.
What's a continental breakfast?
You might ask.
It's usually served in hotels and cafes.
It's mostly for convenience, just easy to grab and go.
Oh, thanks for making us up to most things.
I've at least made a muffin, a scone, as well as I
didn't want to force them to make a puff pastry or a Danish.
So we're doing a really fun pop tart.
Starting us off, I'm going to make a classic muffin.
Halda, thanks for five months.
So we're going to start with our dry ingredients,
put those all in.
Okay, two and a half cups flour, one cup of, okay,
I definitely put way too much sugar in.
So maybe mine was a cupcake.
Powder and soda, salt, poppy, okay, half a cup of butter.
Butter and oil.
Tempered lion, thank you for the 10, thank you.
Thanks, tempered lion.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh shit, wait, it's a treasure train.
Holy shit, wait, let me update this on goal.
Thank you guys, so kind.
Well, egg sour cream?
Yo, Tittle Weds, thank you for the time.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I appreciate it.
K-House Fruit Loop, thank you for the five.
Oh my gosh, thank you.
Vanilla, lemon, milk.
I think I put most of these things in there.
Separate bowl, it's so important.
Oh my goodness, King Cork, thank you for the five.
Anonymous, thank you for the 10!
River, thank you for the 5!
What the heck?
What the heck to coca?
Thank you for the 5!
Oh my goodness!
Itachi, thank you for the 20!
Holy shit!
Holy shit, it is flying!
Oh my god!
Oh!
Thank you for the 15!
What the frick?
Oh my gosh, crazy!
Crazy gifters!
Thank you!
Thank you, Off and Shiro!
Thanks for 26 months!
Thank you guys!
Holy shit!
How about the horse?
Thank you for the 10!
Thank you for the 10 oh, I can't breathe. What's great even? Thank you for the 20. Why am I sweating?
Ew, sorry, sorry, sorry, great even the 20. Thank you guys
Grand goat. Thank you for the two months. They'll be more even
Throughout your muffins. No, I don't smell. I'm just big mistake. Notice. I started to sweat
But anyway mix our sugar and our eggs. Oh, she put the sugar
Sandman thank you for the five and nerdy Torx. Thank you for the five. Thank you guys
So every literally every single day of the competition I get oh you combine the wet with the wet and the dry with the drags
I remember that I'd always try to mix the butter and the eggs and I'd get this a weird like
Scrambled eggs with like chunks of lard sauce. I'd be like, what am I doing wrong?
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you anonymous. Okay. Now. I know sugar and eggs. So it's not just pure
Okay, I understand
Thanks for three months a big
Cup of milk sour cream and then our lemon juice add our lemon zest when does the butter come into this?
You can nine times out of ten make muffins just in one bowl
Did I use my hands?
I don't think I used the mixer.
It's mostly because I gave up on using the mixer
just because I was so sick of having to replace the parts
to try to keep it clean.
I was like, I'm too fucking lazy for this.
Yo, Matt, thank you for the 20, thank you.
Thank you, MTC Matt for the 20, holy shit, thank you.
If you're adding butter to the wet ingredients,
melt it first. Well, I remembered seeing some recipes where you don't want to melt the butter,
but I think I just assumed that applied to everything. So I don't know. Coppapila is
the most famous, a good rule of follow is that for every two cups of flour is one cup
of sugar. Bro, I was doing like one cup of sugar per one cup of flour. So it's amazing.
They never said my shit was too sweet or anything.
While those are in the oven, I'm going to make a simple lemon glaze.
Well, I feel like in that kind of competition, better, um, too much flavor than not enough
flavor, because most people are not most people, but some of the things people made
was just straight, like no flavor, like just straight flour, apparently, so.
Necromancer, thank you for the gift.
It's just a decorative thing.
It also adds some flavor, drizzle that on top.
them when in doubt, make a sweeter, recover mistakes.
Then you have the yummiest lemon poppy.
Those look really nice.
Those are-
I'm gonna teach you how to make a scone.
A scone.
Being a little extra here, okay?
I am making a caramel because I wanted to make a caramel apple scone.
I don't know why I've been craving caramel apples lately.
She's got a problem.
Whatever.
We start by melting our sugar.
Add some butter in there.
Get that nice-
You mind how to really watch Tiff the Tiff Japan?
Is that like four hours long?
I don't know how to watch it on straight, but I'll watch it on some point.
I feel like I have a lot of things for parties on this.
Next are scones.
Scones are really fun.
You want to use cold, cold butter here.
Yes, cold butter.
And I like to take it to my grater.
A cheese grater?
That way you have little small pieces of butter,
and you're going to get nice pockets of butter.
I would not have thought to do that.
We're going to add our cinnamon and the rest of our dry ingredients all in this bowl.
And then we just use our hands.
Hands. Hands are your friends here. We're just gonna get each of those butter pieces evenly coated in flour now
We're gonna add our sugar as well as our heavy cream throw an egg in there
Keep it cold because we want to keep that butter cold get this nice. It's a shaggy texture. We're going for we're gonna add our
Apple I know my hands are gross, but they're your best tool until that is nice combined
We're gonna make that into a disc cut that into wedges throw her into the oven when she's out take her out
Look at the gorgeous scones.
Mine did not look like that at all.
Obsessed, absolutely obsessed.
Love these scones.
Next up is Pop Tarts.
I know, it's a lot.
It's the finale.
What do you guys expect?
And if you don't know, Pop Tarts are just a hand pie.
So we're gonna make a pie dough.
It's a pie.
We're gonna mix this up our dry ingredients
in the deep-frozen state.
I'm such an idiot, bro.
I basically made a graham cracker.
But keep it cold.
Again, we want those little chunks of butter
to melt as we get a flaky pie crust.
Look at that crumbly texture that we're going for.
And now we're gonna add our cold water
and some honey.
This honey for some sweetness,
I decided to add a little extra.
Once that is done, we're gonna flop that out,
put it in the freezer or the fridge, whatever works.
Once that sets a little more, we're gonna roll this out.
Today's challenge is going to take a lot of multitasking.
Can they do it?
I don't know.
Is it fun to watch?
It's a fun to watch.
Yes, sir.
Roll out our pie dough.
Holy shit, wait, what the hell, Evan?
Thank you for the 33,333 bits.
333 bits. Witcher 3 Cinema. Thank you, Evan. Yeah, I will start that today. I noticed Evan was asking
for Witcher for a while. I mean, I try to take into account what everyone in chat asked for,
unless it's like, is there a game I've skipped on purpose? I don't remember. But yeah, I've been
trying to see what people want, you know. Thank you, Evan and Johnny. Thank you for the 20. Maximus,
Thank you for the five and Leon Troy. Thank you for the crime. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Oh
Yeah
Sassons Creed black flag. Okay, but that's
Apparently el roles asking for
I was trying to figure out for so long who name changed for that. I was like, who is who's account is this?
Um, now. No, don't thank you for the six months that we shot water. Thank you for the gift
into perfect little pockets of goodness you're gonna wet your finger so these
will be nice and fine fill them with your jam we just
I thought that was marinara sauce!
I thought that was marinara sauce!
It gives them a little hand full so they don't fall apart
you should probably do this on your hand because someone did it off my hand and scooped them on
it wasn't too hard to get them on but it'll be easier for you if you just
treasure train
crimping our edges here like I said and then I did an egg wash on these just to
get that really pretty golden color.
Those look so nice.
While they're in the oven, we're going to make our frosting here.
This is a classic frosting.
Holy wreck.
This is a corn syrup and a lot of.
No, wreck's all.
Thank you for the pie.
Thank you.
It's going to cross over eventually on the outside and stay ooey gooey on the inside.
Oh, my paypal's got declined guys.
I think it's frosting very often.
I'm not the biggest fan of it, but it is absolutely perfect for something like this.
There we go.
They are out of the oven nice and cool.
I like to spread this out.
I like it kind of overflowing because these are homemade pop tarts.
So they should look like it. Add some sprinkles and there we go. Let's see what our bankers make today.
3, 2, 1, Hi!
And we've made some shit, bro. Is there like a compilation at the end of, uh, like all the, all the things?
Oh, thank you for the 10 and 10, she thanks for one year. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you guys. Every time there's a treasure train, I'm like, oh shit, 35% off.
Honestly, Emily's looked nice, but I was like, I don't know if I'm crazy. I feel like they all look kind of the same
You look like you lost some brain cells here
Six seven
I was so dumb sorry I was so dumb. Yo play Assassin's Creed 4 Black Black. Thank you for the five gifted. Oh my god
He's here. Thank you. I mean I suppose I can put it on the list for after Witcher 3, you know
She's deranged. Thank you for the five gifts. Thank you
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
Much appreciated cutie has a question about Disney
Oh, Jamie!
Oh, Jamie!
I tried really hard for Master Baker, because that was a prize, by the way.
Winning Master Baker.
Oh my goodness.
Yo!
Wear a rabbit, Ollie!
Thank you for the 10!
And Nick, thank you for 60.
That's Jay Trev.
Thank you for the 10.
Oh my goodness.
Thank you.
Sorry, I keep pausing.
I was like, oh my god, there's so many gifters going for it.
That was crazy.
Thank you, Jay Trev and Ollie.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Back to you, Moon.
Thanks for those three years.
Back in the room, thanks for the three year shaker.
But you get to go anyway, I mean, I invited you.
Yeah, that would be a lot.
Oh yeah, she did.
Yeah, you get the prize anyway.
And you got third place.
Do you think I mean, I invited you because she didn't want to be alone with me?
No, no, no, no.
No, that's not why.
That's not why.
It's because I could tell that Ray really wanted to go.
And whenever Cutie's chat was on the screen there, I could see they were like,
we need the Ray and Cutie trips.
I was like, ah, I feel like I'm like, uh, how do I describe?
It's like you're going on Disney with your like going to Disneyland with your dad,
but he remarried and you like really don't like your new stepmom.
I feel like it'd be that kind of vibes with me and Cutie's child.
Oh, that makes sense.
So I was like, hmm, I got to invite the original mom, Bray, so that they're happy, you know.
So it was more like that, not because I didn't want to be alone with Cutie.
I was like, oh, I don't want to like, you know, interrupt,
and ruin the family or something.
But I feel like it also would be fun.
But maybe I shouldn't have asked because then now QDS
has to pay even more for the prize.
I'm sure she doesn't mind, right?
I'm sure she doesn't mind.
Ivy, thank you for the four months.
A little mojo, thank you for the five.
Thank you.
And Sammy, six, thanks for 14 months.
Does that analogy make sense?
I don't know.
Ah, first amendment, thank you for the five gifted.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And Princess Peach, thank you for the five gifts and what the heck, thank you guys so much.
Oh my gosh, so kind.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
YTA, am I really T.A.?
Am I really T.A.?
Yeah, right now?
Oh, she did not.
Okay, here we are.
I've never been alone with that.
Maybe she's gonna be alone with me.
No.
You don't wanna go?
Oh, you're sorry?
So I'm sorry.
No.
She's like, no, I don't wanna go.
No, everyone can not say that, because you'll know.
No, everyone's gonna be alone with me.
No, no, I give her your advice.
That's not what I said!
No.
What were you gonna say?
Like what if we all go?
Sure, I would go.
Yeah, what if we just all go?
And then I will never be alone with the Q and A.
And I'm just kidding.
That's not why.
I promise that's not why.
I promise.
Yo, Zachy Moon, thank you for the five.
Anonymous, thank you for the gifts up to SEO.
And massive knowledge, thanks for the six ones.
What if you don't have a dad?
Then like, I don't know how else to compare it to.
Oh my god, guys.
Thank you! What the fuck?
Rock 8 and thank you for the 5 pro slip!
Thank you for the 10! Holy shit!
So freaking crazy!
It's a crazy treasure train! Holy shit!
We miss desktop any- whenever I don't stream on my desktop, I feel like I literally didn't stream.
I don't know how to explain it! Like I'm like, oh, I fell on break! Wait, no I haven't! I streamed 4 days in a row, but it was all IRL.
Nick, thank you for the five gifts. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And you retreat yourself. Why some chicken nuggets from Nicky D's?
Yes, chicken nuggets that definitely are not made from the baby birds that have mysteriously disappeared outside.
Yes. Yes, exactly. Yes, exactly. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. I'll give you guys some more subs if my credit card doesn't get declined.
Thank you guys for the treasure train.
I pulled out like instant with the how I like just click the button.
Holy shit.
Oh my goodness.
Level 22.
So 22 the highest that my treasure train has been.
This crazy.
Holy shit.
Crazy.
Now, I don't even... I remember!
What do you want the next, Master Baker?
That is so much lammer than Iron Chef. What the hell is Master Baker?
She's such a freaking hater. What the heck?
Oh, wait, never mind. That's the QT Cinderella show.
I like it. That's a good name.
Bro, still one more. Thanks for 44 months.
Bro is still speedrunning.
I want it because there's so many other amazing people on it already. I can't.
Good save Clint. Good save. W save. I mean, I don't think Clint's ever gone IRL for anything.
New Street Fighter trailer
Shit, I haven't seen this yet six days ago. I've been I've been gone. I haven't been here. Yeah, I'll cure alive
Thank you for the five gifts him. Thank you
Thank you, I'll cure up and quadra. Thank you for the 10 months
Just yeah, yes, yeah guys. Yes. Yeah, I should chat. Thank you to all of my oilers. They are so kind
I do not deserve this. Thank you
you
you're going to out okay
what
I'm
here
I'm
gonna
get out of here
you are
I
don't
know
yo eggman thank you for
you
you
you
you
you
Yo, Nathan, thanks for the 19 months!
He's kinda scary!
What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh, I keep seeing people playing this, uh, Tomodachi life game.
It looks fun. Yo, Bro Meshji, thank you for the five and wonky zero thanks for the 54 months.
Thank you, bro. Merci. Thank you, wonky. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
Oh god, I thought this was mouthwashing at first clay face
What is this your slow key? Hey, Astro. Thank you guys for the resubs your resident. Thank you for the tan
What the fuck is going on?
This is a great, crazy treasure train.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Zulok, thank you for the one year.
Is this not just literally mouthwashing?
Suspenseful music.
Oh my god!
Oh my god, I don't know how he's singing that made me like sick.
It looked like bubble and flesh.
Is that Jawsyn?
Is this a Gotham?
Is this a Batman thing? Oh DC suit? Oh it is.
I don't, I've never heard of plaything.
This looks scary, what?
Holy shit, wees! Thank you for the 10.
Pivchan, thank you for the 10.
Andres, Stockholm, thank you for the 5.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Zarathis, 21 months. Reverse 13 months.
Thank you, thank you, and debt this, thank you for the 5, DXGA 4 months, oh my god, it's crazy.
Oh man, I guess it's the sign that I just need to do more desktop, right?
I mean, I do 90% desktop anyway.
Hey Brian, thanks for the 16 months.
I'm doing a black cat cosplay probably on Friday.
Marvel Rivals paid me to do the outfit, make some videos.
Should be fun. New Metro game for you to hate playing. What does that mean? Is this a horror game?
Uh, post-Maple World of Metro.
Um.
I ask you, do you want to go out of the darkness and become a human being?
The hell will fit in the room?
I just need
I'm awake
Wake up! Wake up to a pure nation! Clean the air! Bright future!
Oh god.
It's just a bad dream, just gonna wake up, so I kill myself every day, when I go live
and have to read my chat, just kidding.
Oh my god, I thought those were pills!
I was like, moved to a red pill?
They're fucking crayons.
This is what it feels like to be in your chat. What is that supposed to mean?
Like you're in like some kind of hell.
It's kind of weird hell.
With a scary grandma. Wait.
You don't like them, speak.
No, no, no, it's not me.
I won't ask again.
He has homophobic eyes.
Yo, Juergenstein, thank you for the two gifted and DSF Eagle, thank you for the Prime.
Welcome.
Wow, we're at 13K!
Thank you guys!
Holy shit!
Thank you guys
Clayface
They're all connected all the movie trailers. Oh my god
Jesus
My god, he's got three fingers
I already know this game is stressful as hell.
I'm not playing this.
Pussy, don't call me a pussy, bro!
Why would I spend money and time to make myself stressed out?
Oh, shit.
Well, you woke up, baby.
So League of Legends, I don't spend money on League of Legends.
Okay, I'm officially free to play.
The riot blessed me.
Wait, maybe that's how they get me to play.
Fuck, I don't know.
Well, yeah, that looked, um...
That was not over.
That's the game pl- I'm not playing this!
I'm not playing this!
No, I'm not playing this!
Oh my god, carrying an SG thanks for the three months.
Hi dad.
Whoa, my son.
Bro, I'm not, why is there a timer on his wrist?
Dude, I hate timers and games.
Bro, you can't, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait!
Yo, we're wrapping all these,
Thank you for the time! Thank you! Thank you, Ollie!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Ollie!
3, 2, 1, go!
She promised.
I didn't say it coming this winter.
Yeah, guys, I don't know, a lot can change with the seasons.
Like, I might be dead by then, who knows.
Maybe like you guys won't even remember that I exist by winter and like I'll have no choice but to be playing League every day like I don't know a lot can change you know a lot can change passengers trailer is that was this a horror movie.
May 22nd, that's a month away.
Last year over 130 million people took road trips.
We did that!
The TwitchCon road trip!
Oh my god!
That was us!
I was there!
I'm going to start self-inserting now.
Is this real?
15,400 of them were never seen again.
Is this a real stat or is this like spooky for the trailer?
Okay, is this like a Wendigo movie or like a serial killer movie?
Yo, that's so mavin', thank you for the Prime and Zero bullets, thanks for 38 months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh god, he's just standing there.
I look like Will Nefros, I get that long hair.
That kiddies! Thanks for 33 months!
I was in the Waka like a bulls*** when he's going fast!
Same guy!
That's a hiker!
Hope.
Oh
No, I hated that I hated that I did not I hated that I did I hated that so much I
Oh, I hate that.
No one outruns a passenger.
The passenger?
passenger.
See, like, I'm not, I'm not, you know, shitting on people who like whore things, but why,
why do you pay to be stressed out?
Maybe I just get more stressed out than most people watching movies.
I get so stressed, bro.
Ugh.
I can't do it, dude.
I can't do it.
Bro, are you, everyone's just licking me whore stuff now?
You're trying to convert me into a horror watcher when you know that I don't like it!
He's linking all the horror stuff!
Stop!
Enough horror slop!
Where's like the- the- the gotcha slop, bro!
Like, but some wondering waves like pose out shit or something, dude. This is- no.
Enough of this!
Oh, the floor really looks like the escape room.
What the fuck is going on?
Wait, this looks like a fun time for you guys.
You horror enjoyers.
Yes!
This is a streamer house.
Yeah, I could see that.
Ner, I'm Kino.
Well, that was awesome, guys.
That was awesome.
I love horror.
What is this?
bro he's open in cases and gambling and
brother bro
oh brother E.T. and Grumlin's always
freaking out as a kid oh man I hated the
um why they call the Tuscan Raiders and
Star Wars dude that I like literally
ran behind the couch it was like balling
my eyes out when I watched um
Attack of the clones or whatever with my dad when I was a kid. I was hewn here. Hi hewn. I see people typing hewn
I don't know if she's here
Hello, hewn. What a pussy bro. I was like six leave me alone
Whatever dude whatever bro. Oh
Yeah, I heard about what happened to this movie I feel so bad for them
I'm gonna watch it when it comes out. I think probably
You know, Asian hacks, thanks for the 10 months.
Thank you.
I can someone act you and I can't see what you typed.
If anything.
Oh, thank you, Stoogie.
Wait, but if you get scared, I can hold your hand
through the horror.
Wait, that doesn't sound so bad.
Wait, Hugh, I've been meaning to ask you.
Would you be down to come back down here
to do a cosplay group with Super?
Because Super was talking about maybe coming to visit me
and Senna and doing a cosplay group with me.
And I was like, I should invite more girls.
We can be like a little girlie pop group.
I felt like you'd be a good fit, not that far away.
You guys are friends too, right?
So I'm down, yes, OK.
I will let you know once we start planning.
But we were saying maybe like a deadlock group
or something, maybe, I don't know.
We will see, I mean like that, yay!
Okay, the unofficial plans are starting to cook.
Would be very cool.
Yeah, I feel so bad for the people that worked on this,
but I'm sure it'll still be successful.
I mean, I'm gonna be real,
like I didn't even know they were doing this until,
you know, like a bad thing happened to them.
So I was like, oh shit, I mean,
Now I'll watch it, you know?
I'm sure more people heard about it.
There's always a scene with Nickelodeon and Loveco, but the music feels so weird.
Oh wait, is this the right?
I'm gonna say it looks kind of grainy.
Wait, this is not the real trailer. Oh, I was gonna say, why does it look kind of shit?
Oh, I was like, bro, this looks like... Holy shit, wait, I fell for it. Oh no, that's
That's so bad!
Oh, that's bad, bro.
Oh, it snippets! Oh, okay!
Oh, it snippets!
Okay, I was gonna say, I thought it was just full AR.
I was like, that's so bad.
you
you
you
you
you
you
I'm gonna be real, I was super into Hunger Games in high school, but I did not know
But I can't remember shit about it now.
I could probably tell you, like, barely anything about Hunger Games now.
I don't remember.
Yeah, I read the books.
I don't think I even watched the Mockingjay movies that I read the book.
Never made the odds be
That'll be cool. I'm still waiting for him. Why does he keep recommending me this this disgusting AI swap buff Harry Potter shit the boy who lifts oh
My gosh, I'm still waiting for the back room's movie. That's the next thing I'm gonna watch
It really wants me to watch that video. It really wants me to watch it.
FROZEN!
I was he afraid to sing the wrong song, that's crazy.
Oh yeah bro, I was watching Kat's stream for a while, earlier I was getting ready.
She ate like, I don't even know like 50 to 60 plates of sushi at Kura Sushi the conveyor
belt place.
For comparison, when I went with Rage, Super, and Emily,
we each ate about 11, plus a few small things.
So probably, I guess, like 12 worth of food.
So she literally ate what all of us combined ate.
Like, how does she do that?
EXE, thank you for the 88 months.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much.
OG is so crazy
Yo, all you thank you for another 10. Thank you. Oh
Oh, thank you so kind
Honestly, like I don't I don't know if it's gonna be a strange thing to say
But I'm actually high-key jealous that she can eat that much like I wish that I had that much
Well, she must just like I think it's like a genetic thing where some people's stomachs can expand more than others, right?
like I'm actually high-key jealous of like bro I bet every time she does like
this well I mean I'm sure it's like not comfortable at a certain point but like
bro my gosh it's to enjoy so much more food crazy I mean it's not healthy but
she doesn't do this very often I think she just does this like once a month just
for show you know you know Macy thank you for the five gifts it thank you thank
Thank you.
Is this real?
Queen Merica on the set of the eldering film.
Is this real?
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, bro, everything I've seen about the eldering movie, I'm always like a little bit
skeptical because I don't want to be disappointed, you know?
I feel like there's so much fake stuff out there the Dung Eater
The look like that looks sick. Why can't I open it? Oh my god?
my god, I don't know if it's because of
My god, I can't make it bigger. I think it's clear. I'm having a count on this PC
Good, they're throwing the fucking fruits at him and shit
You're this this movie's gonna be so fucking sick. I love that. It seems like they're like going all the way with it
That's so awesome.
Restless, thank you for the 15 months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
March 3rd, 2028.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, that means I have to live that long, bro.
That's so long.
That's two years.
Well, guys, we can't kill ourselves for two years.
Just remember that.
We have to survive so that we can all go see the Elden Ring movie.
When it comes out, alright, it's a deal.
Lock in, guys, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Wait.
Koshmar, the last reverie.
Loads him, dumb eater.
But the five gifted W Loads him, dumb eater.
Dude, you look fucking sick in the movie.
Oh wait, there's a sound?
Why is he giggling in the background?
He's ruining the shot.
Crazy. This is the video.
Oh my god, this...
Okay, but imagine like, here an extra in a movie and your job is just to dress up all
cool and throw food scraps at the Dome Eater, oh my god, that'd be like the best, the best
day ever.
I feel like I would cancel all my plans to do that.
Oh my gosh.
Talk about overreacting to a little harmless dung you didn't do for real. You're pissed.
There's not even anyone in there, man. It's just a prop.
Why are they so mad about? She's not even there.
What is this, a game?
That was a cool.
Is that Hymerdinger's voice?
What?
That sounds nothing like Hymerdinger.
That's a lady.
Isn't it?
Careful, it looks like James.
When nightly has preened and the world chokes in its sleep.
Is this panel of corrects, confuses, control its embrace?
Why is it like James?
Like that looks like jakes.
That was alright.
That was alright.
Yes, it's alright.
That looked bad.
Welcome to MI6. To succeed in the double low program, agents must understand this is a concoct skill, but it will grab them all possible chances to survive.
So, take a deep breath, listen up, and you may learn how to get the job done and return to HQ in one piece.
British skip?
The first thing is to know how to blend in. Keep your eye open while navigating the crowd. We'll help you.
I'll probably try this when it comes out.
Although, something about the graphics looks...
It's like a little...
...cartoon-y.
I don't know.
Oh my goodness, everyone's doing case openings.
The degeneracy...
OOOH!
Guys, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold!
I'm done it!
That's a nice knife. Way better than the knife that I have. It's pretty.
It's a $2,500 knife.
That is so awesome.
That is such a nice knife.
It's freaking awesome.
That's a nice knife.
That's a nice knife.
It's pretty, but the blue is awesome.
my blue camo knife yeah dude mine is mine is totally better you got me bro mine
is really really good
oh
Oh, this looks nice!
Why?
Have you been horribly injured by a product made by the Acme Corporation?
It's not your fault. There's probably someone to blame
What the heck
To that this is your opportunity to really show people what you're capable of
companies think they can do whatever they want.
What's the difference?
I see. I see.
We really have nothing.
We both know it would be very unpleasant if anything
made us want to become public.
This is really good.
I love the Roadrunner.
Roadrunner is my favorite.
Oh, it's him!
Oh my god, the big guy!
Oh my gosh.
Ah, someone reached here and said,
I've played like three Roblox games ever.
I love the dress to impress though.
That was some good shit.
I've already seen the Clayface trailer.
I've already seen it.
I've seen Jacksepticeye's Bloodborne thing.
Very awesome.
Any more clips or trailers I should catch up on?
up on otherwise I will do my my mr. daily my mr. daily oh my god you know I
should watch this I should watch this you're trained a for a hundred 111
thank you holy shit that's a og og been there since the beginning I should
watch this launch cinematic I'm playing it for the first time ever today never
or even seen other people play it or anything.
We'll just sleep in midst.
Sorry.
Oh, it's ready.
The trees,
that's all I'm swaying in the breeze.
But once I'm light and just wide awake.
Fear in all manner, of course, that's our race.
Nice tune. Been a while since I heard it last.
Folk have forgotten it.
What?
Other things on my mind.
Things like me.
What?
They paid me for you
Yeah, which
No amount of coin you convince a witcher to take this contact. Oh shit
Where's what's going on why'd she do that was that necessary
Yes, okay. It was necessary, I see. Oh, shit!
So I don't know anything about the Witcher lore, any of the games or anything. Never
watched the Netflix. Netflix never watched the show. So I don't- why- why is he bleeding
out of his face.
You know, T.S. Rats, thanks for the 30 months.
He's like water bomb.
Oh, she naked under there.
Oh shit!
Why is she kinda scary?
Oh shit.
Behind you!
That's not good.
Well, that's not good.
She not has sex to you like that at all.
Does she get poisoned from breathing or what the fuck just happened?
Yeah? But shouldn't she know that? Or did he do something? Oh, God, she's- Yeah, you're
fucking dead, bud. You're fucking dead. Oh, because of the potion, I see. So is it bad
for him too, is that why he was bleeding? Oh you're done. Gigi! Gigi! So does she get
possessed? How does being a witch work? Davy, thanks for 25 months! Too many questions
Sorry, I still don't know if I'm supposed to already know these things from the other days
I did not expect that
Wow, I will play this today
first time, no experience, no game knowledge. And then I guess when Witcher 4 comes out,
I'll at least know what's going on, right? So that will be good, that will be good.
Yeah. I've already seen the witch, this is a short recap of the game. Maybe I'll watch it like
after everybody started I think because I don't want it to like spoil anything
potentially you don't need it okay then then I won't if I don't need it I'll just
try to figure it out myself I think probably the best way to do it I think
hello everyone this is my favorite videos this guy got a scam call which he
realized was AI, so he decided to have some fun with it.
Tom speaking, can I ask who's calling?
Oh yeah, this is Henry.
I was reaching out because the FCA recently announced a tile finance
redress.
Oh my god!
Dude, this has been happening to me!
Well, actually not recently, but for a while,
they'd call and be like, hello?
What up?
There is a warrant out for your arrest in Buta County.
Call us back, or something like that,
but more detailed than that.
But every time it was identifying information,
I could not understand what the fuck they were saying I don't know if it's because like an old person might be like
Oh, they're probably we're trying to say this. I'm like, what the fuck is it saying to me right now instructions?
recipe for a cupcake
Well, yeah, vanilla cup I need that for master basher. Oh
That sucks
Oh, I think this is cool.
Ha ha!
They're like too close to the road though.
So cool.
Oh, she's so scared, Force!
It's the Easter Bunny!
Air traffic is still clearly hit
in half of these two pilots.
I guess he wanted to make a wish as well.
I'm gonna try this new store of our genera, I'ma let y'all know how it is.
This astronaut will be welcomed from their local community after turning off our admission.
Let's fuck that.
Yay!
You read, 6 to the 5 months of origin of M, thanks for the 6 months.
Oh, our apple.
So fast.
Wow, it looks so juicy too, it's like the juiciest apple I've ever seen.
I really like apples personally.
I feel like they're never juicy enough.
Get him! Get him!
Cute.
This woman found herself at the edge of an approaching rain shower.
Yo, Brick Steal, though! It's Kuma, and Dick's Rayquaza, thank you guys for the resubs.
Oh Jesus, it was a potion.
That's not scary.
He had 36 kills.
Cute!
What is he doing?
Is that mustache or filter?
Yeah.
He doesnt see something like a seashore
His head is a perfect target
Hit!
That was a perfect throw
He's figuring out how to keep babies from crying
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Don't cry.
There's no crying when I'm eating.
That's not how it works.
It's hard.
She's still crying, though.
She's still crying.
She's so sad.
Oh, no!
So cute.
Are you kidding me?
I guess avoiding the hurdles is optional.
I like the crowd just groaning with every hit.
See how you have your hat down here?
Oh!
I never tried! I used to!
Here we go!
Aww, cute.
Now you can hide in here!
That was really good.
You make her fire a nap and realize you're out the vet.
That's a beautiful dog!
Oh my god!
She was trying to open her window, then this happened.
Oh!
Oh!
And just make terrible muffins.
Master Baker.
Last night for my boyfriend.
Look at this.
Look at it.
Should muffins move like that?
Yo, cloak in.
Thank you for the 40 months.
Thank you.
Don't eat that.
Does she have one stuck to the wall?
Just make terrible muffins.
Last night for my boyfriend.
Look at this.
Look at it.
Oh, I thought that was one that she threw and that got stuck to the wall.
I'm blind.
Did the muffins move like that?
I mean, Master Baker, excuse me, are you guys forgetting that I'm the Master Baker?
I literally won, and my muffins got first place.
And that was without a recipe.
This person wasn't a competition at all.
They could have used a recipe.
I was, I was nerfed.
If I had a recipe, that should have been delicious.
I showed you guys the Sam that I cooked the other day, right?
It was pretty good, but honestly, when I was making it,
I was a little bit scared because I decided
to try making it in the broiler,
like I rolled it in the oven,
and I followed up some instructions for it,
but because of that, the sauce that I made
turned into a black sludge around the salmon.
I was like, oh no, I fucked this up for sure.
But it was the most delicious salmon I've ever made.
It was, it was supposed to be like that,
I guess I look at that.
I made this, guys.
I made this.
I made this.
It was delicious.
It was a honey soy glazed salmon with sriracha in the sauce
as well.
It was very good.
Poppy, don't eat that.
So much avocado.
I love avocado.
I had a whole avocado.
I'm not going to say no to you.
I'm not going to say no to you.
He's so sick of that long jump noise.
This kid had a live audience for his bike drinks.
Perfect Hidings talk.
Whoa!
So cool.
Oh Johnny! Thank you for the 10!
Thank you Johnny!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Oh, there you go Johnny. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh my gosh, you scared the shit out of me. Thanks Johnny!
I think his parent has serious attachment issues.
I just love my new pet Harry.
Oh!
I had a baby and it's got a nice feet.
The eyes are really beautiful too. I love it.
Oh my gosh, such a jealous bird. Holy shit.
This dog really said work smarter, not harder.
Little off day, thanks for 14 months!
I left someone's greenhouse. It's like, what am I looking at?
It's a little, an air sale.
This is working, so she won't realize.
This is crazy.
Yeah, I'll do this for you.
It's got a little fish.
Sorry, I knew something was going to come up, but I thought it would be like a cute otter or something.
This honey looks and sounds so satisfying.
Think of all the bees that died to make this honey.
I love honey.
Yo what the- wait, y'all and Jay, thank you for the five gifted.
Wait, that's not- y'all is actually actual accountants.
What the heck?
Thank you, y'all and Jay.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
What's our actual count? Is it? I followed her recently.
Miranda.
Is it? Are you sure?
Oh it is! Hi Yana! Hello! Hi Yana! How are you?
What the heck? It's so random. Thank you. That's so kind.
Oh my gosh. I hope you're doing well. You were so nice at the Mr. Beast thing.
I've seen that you've been doing a lot of cool things.
Very happy for you.
Very cool.
Say hi to Yana Chat.
Maranta?
Maranta?
Ah!
You're so cute.
Hello, hello.
Hello, hello.
She's doing collabs.
I see her nose back there.
Oh, wait.
Do you guys know if she's located in LA?
Maybe I should ask her if she wants to come to Soapbox.
I don't know if she's still here.
Because Red Bull said I should try to focus on LA people.
Oh, she is?
I can try to reach out to her.
Well, Yana, if you're here,
do you want to be on my team for Red Bull Soapbox?
There's some other creators that you know
that are gonna be at too,
but I can't say because they haven't announced it yet.
But basically, it's like a car that,
or how do I explain?
It's Red Bull soapbox.
It's a very fun event.
Track in high school, that's why.
You're very cool.
You see that flexibility I'm getting right here?
Don't know if you would want to, but.
It's that flexibility right there.
If champagne sounds so nice for 11 months.
If I could have done a run, I would have got through easy.
You already left.
I'll try to reach out to her then.
And stuff them all in a shirt.
What are we doing?
Serious.
San Yachty, thanks for the five months.
This is what the inside of a manhole looks like.
Oh wait, maybe she can't type because we have ten minute follower mode.
That would be awkward.
I have that because there's a lot of weird people who try to make new accounts to type in my chat.
Or they used to, I don't know about anymore.
Yo, Derek Kuro, thanks for 62 months. I'll try messaging her on Instagram or something though
What is this I saw I saw the thing
He took a movie in this game. He's just like me. Yo, Adam, thanks for gifting us up to y'all now
He's gonna throw the trash everywhere. Okay, he actually did it. I thought I was gonna go flying everywhere.
Why is Albert Einstein playing with the matchsticks?
Lennox gonna stand before the 10-yoes. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
That's the cutest hamster I've ever seen in my fucking life. Oh my god.
That is fucked up. Why is one of the windows the wrong kind of glass?
So I guess rope swinging in movies isn't so unrealistic.
Wow.
Wow!
For a tiny year they settled down by having big water fights and these police officers
decided to join in.
Oh
Honestly wasn't even that close
She was meeting both of her friends for lunch
I don't know where to sit.
Crazy spatial awareness.
Ewww!
Ew, it's like some bloodborne shit.
I was so excited when their owner told me about the whole mission.
Oh, what are those guys, the little silver guys from Elden Ring?
Oh, hell no.
Yeah, the Albertiacs.
Is that how you say it?
Oh, I wonder if those are going to be in the movie.
What was that sound?
Master Baker!
Oh wait, no, it's perfect.
Wait, I thought I thought that was just a normal cake and it was like butter with that was a perfect flan. It's called flan, right?
Wow, wait, I wasn't a believer. It's literally perfect.
Wow
Beautiful
It can do that
This is like castle bang
That's beautiful
Spiritually they represent divine protection
So next time you see a fly or any animal around
Instead of killing it, why not just let it go
Have a nice day. Love you so much.
Oh my god, it's hit the Maya in another life.
He just did a pull-up.
He'll clip one of the things for the eight months.
Guys, I'm sorry, I kill bugs sometimes.
He just broke it.
Whoa!
I feel like that's just natural instinct. She has crazy self-control.
She would never...
I don't know if I'm myself in this position, but it's not good.
No, you have fresh apples, thanks for 8 months, and sanctuary, thanks for the 6 months.
Do you think they slide down this to get to their current?
Are they charging it from up there?
Guys, I don't know what this plant is.
Crazy.
But I just walked past it.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
This thing just, oh, explodes on me.
It's spreading its seed.
Oh, they drew a little sheep on it.
Legs in a college town.
He's bleeding a little bit.
His trip had unexpected consequences.
Oh no, it's gonna go in the toilet, isn't it?
Oh!
I didn't realize that Sea Turtle's mouths would be so treacherous, like that looks scary.
That looks horrifying.
Where is this and how do I sign up?
Hitty! Woo! Okay, I've spun Shutter like that, he does not go that fast.
He's refusing to cooperate.
Not Serena!
Good morning!
No, this doesn't think that'll work.
I gotta measure you.
Come here.
Sit up.
What was that? Oh, uh, so I ordered a chicken, a rooster, we got a teen-loon rooster.
That was a small-ass rooster.
Yeah, that's a rooster. And apparently that's a rooster.
That is the end of this video. Hope I made your day just a little better.
And I'll see you guys again very, very soon. Later.
Yo, Josh, for you! Thanks for the 16 months! Thank you, Josh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, Josh.
I did hear that the Northern Lions Supercruise got canceled.
I don't, wasn't it because people were mad or something or he just decided he didn't want to do it?
Because I was like, why would he cancel it?
I was watching Northern Lion make Gordon Ramsay in Tomodachi Life this morning,
and I was getting very frustrated because I kept feeling like he wasn't picking the optimal
um, me
Facial pieces and I was getting very upset. I almost became a backseat gamer for a moment
But I held it in I did not let the darkness overtake me. Yo, Diablo of this demon thing for the five months
Thank you
Everyone this is your daily dose of internet twice a year
You play it then?
I mean, I could maybe I
Was charging my switch cuz I was like I might at least play it off stream did it work?
I think I got the wrong...
Wait a second...
It's not actually plugged in!
I'm such an idiot!
Oh, well, my switch isn't on, alright?
God, I'm such a fucking moron!
Agh!
It's fine.
It's fine.
Red Bull athlete?
Well, you don't have to be smart to be an athlete, but you do have to be athletic.
Which I am very...
Scrubscriber thinking for the prime. That's a good name.
Why are you making it look like a video game?
This is a solar event that happens twice a year only in the tropics.
Oh, I've seen this. No shadow.
There's shadows on my head.
If I sit something down on top of a flat surface, it casts no shadow over the solar light.
Guys, can we, can we just, even if I'm not smart or athletic, I'm sure we can name something that I'm good at, right, guys?
Can we just come together and make a list of things that I'm good at?
Holy shit, kicked the camera too.
Dot dot dot is crazy.
Are you okay today?
Can I do anything to make you feel better?
No.
Hello?
Tch.
This is a good Mr. Naili.
These are some good toys- OH SHIT!
I thought that was a rat.
Cute and then you got even from hell
Might be the culprit so I'm in here writing her a port cuz you know popo do popo things okay, and
She looks so betrayed.
What is this song?
Hi birthday party.
So everyone watch videos that top volume simultaneously.
Oh she's got a lot of friends though.
Peace less.
Dude this hurts my head.
Actual brain rot room.
What the hell?
That's cool.
House address and then there's my
No, no, I'm not a thanks for 17 months
This crane get excited when he realized he was going to be a father
Here's the dad
So cute he's so happy
Say bye
Printers are the original AI swap every time she stops the bike
I can one two three
The wedding ring bearers were taking their jobs very seriously.
These trucks are used to move barriers to help deal with rush hour traffic, but why
not just leave the barriers like that all the time?
Am I stupid?
I don't understand why not just leave it like that all the time, like even when it's not
rush hour.
I don't understand.
You don't get it.
Sorry.
You don't get it.
Sorry.
Meow.
Oh my god.
That sheet of sucks.
Excuse me.
I'll put you down.
Sorry.
You have a teen of the human and he thinks for 19 months.
My God, this is a love.
Love is what makes you a lover.
A young boy got his drone stuck in the tree, so this other guy decided to help him out.
The football?
Oh no, not a football stuck too.
I know it's a good throw, to be fair.
That was a really good throw.
I don't, I don't like ants.
Oh, the ant highway.
Oh guys, guess what?
My switch is charging now.
Yay, it's actually plugged in.
She was really looking forward to her relaxing beach day.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, all over the book, oh, there's sandal in the book, oh, oh, Jesus, oh, Jesus.
I just took on this really ugly face morphine filter, it's pretty funny, right?
Yeah, I can see it, it's definitely a filter.
I feel like I know people that just look like that.
And your chin kind of gets wide and narrow at the same time, it's like a total mismatch.
And it's ugly.
Is that really a filter?
Yeah, exactly. It's kind of unsettling, but in a funny way.
Oh, I actually forgot to even turn it on, so...
Ah, gosh, yeah, it might just be the lighting or something, but honestly, it still looks pretty odd, even without it.
That's just the space!
There's multiple lighting strikes inside a storm.
I mean, AI will just say whatever you want it to, so...
That is fucking beautiful.
He gave up, he gave up, BATMAN!
This ski happened half the way through the Zanahelange.
Imagine Batman carrying your shopping bag for you.
I thought it was terrifying, oh my god.
What, Masha?
I'm Batman!
I'm not mad!
Why are there two of them?
What was that?
Is he making a fucking bomb? What is this?
I'm hitting you bro!
I'm gonna leak this so I can make sure my landlord falls.
That is a little out of the box and then this happens
Yeah that's fine
Police have been notified
Ehhhh
Don't notify the police
No
I'll be there in a minute
No don't notify the police
I live here sorry
Not interested
Haha
I don't need to fuck it up that bad
Beep beep
Beep beep
Beep beep
Beep
Beep
Everybody, I'd like to announce my newest invention.
I call it the fire drill.
Ha ha, good one.
This poor little guy is really going through it.
Oh, he's sad.
Oh, he's just feeling lazy.
He's just floating there.
Oh.
Rainbow guys are.
Oh, fuck.
That sucks.
She moved her car just in time.
Weeeeee!
Damn! What is that?
It's a ground beef and that's the package.
It's hard! What the fuck is that?
It's so hot out there, I want my window open.
This is some of the craziest lightning I've ever seen.
They refrigerated your scone.
Okay, winner.
Can we just forget that the scone ever happened?
I made new ones and they were better.
I got four phones on my second phones.
Her mom was showing off her new pictures.
Oh, there it goes.
Not the scones.
Not the scones.
Oh, hi Matzah.
Hi Kiki.
Hello.
Hello.
This Canadian university broke the world record for the largest gathering of people wearing
dinosaur costumes.
something that they track.
It's a lot of dinosaurs.
Awww.
And I'm watching all the stick. Yes!
I want it once, guys. I want to watch all the stick so bad.
That looks so good.
I guess this guy has never watched a horror movie this reminds me of that that game I played on
sub Sunday I like when water is under ice and it makes that doogly moogly sound where it's like
listen I hear it I really like it it's like oh she was trying to get her baby to talk to the
camera when this happened. Can you just speak more like in a normal cute baby voice?
Okay.
Every wedding should have this from now on.
The best thing I've ever seen for a wedding is that she has the same chart.
I'm like, wow, I see.
Yeah.
So that's me, that's Jory, that's my son, you know.
So we're even tall.
Do you think he wants to go for a walk?
I'm gonna go for a walk.
I am going to go for a walk right now.
Is it time to go for a walk?
I am excited to go for a walk.
You're so happy!
I'm excited to go for a walk.
I don't think anyone else wants to go for a walk.
This guy captured the entire Solar Eclipse.
Oh, that's cool.
Bada.
Which of them did a better job?
This is mine.
Why does it look so feminine?
Actually, Bada.
Wow. So, I will mind you that...
Just show it.
I was...
You can look at it.
I'm scared.
Me too.
Me too.
That was so good.
Scan your membership.
What be a secret path?
Make your pick below.
Save me, Peter Pan.
Abandon ship.
Wow.
Her pirate spell on your stand.
This University of Pennsylvania has a 100 year old tradition of racing buggies through the state.
Oh my God, there's people inside those things.
That is worse than being in a coffin! That looks terrifying!
There's people inside though!
Wow!
Next, uh, Red Bull event?
Me guns got some of her she can't say he's gonna be so me look at him up climb up into my little hand
Those things look like they should they should have gone extinct millions of years ago
He's on me the evil pony
Okay, those look really good don't what the fuck she's taking high-waisted jeans to a holy level
So how? How do they go so high?
Her power picked the worst time to cut out.
Oh no, Joel. My power is almost 100. Did you all see that?
No. No.
the bread! no! those stupid turkeys. well if the bread is ruined now.
why do ducks are self-athers? to hide their butt quacks. I still pissed off!
That is the end of this video, hope I made your day just a little better and I'll see
you guys again very, very soon.
Thank you Mr. Daley, that was a wonderful one.
That was great.
I'm debating, maybe I'll watch a couple more than start gaming because I should probably
order food too.
It's time, fuck maybe I should just start.
I should get some food first, I think, at least put it in my order.
I know earlier I was talking about McDonald's, but guys,
I feel like besides the McDonald's breakfast,
I am on a bit of a McDonald's hiatus right now.
Obviously, thanks for the 19 months.
Like, if I could get a McDonald's hash brown right now,
I would do that for sure.
Oh, hi, Matzah.
Dude, she was not here earlier when I was doing my full cam yapping segment.
She tried to dodge.
Hey, no, no, no, you're not escaping.
Say hello.
Say hello to them.
Say hello.
Say hello.
Okay, she doesn't want to say hi to you guys.
Damn, you hate them or what?
Oh my god.
So rude.
I'm sorry.
to teach her to be polite. But I think she just doesn't like you guys very much.
Should I get pho or ramen? I'm feeling soup today. Oh, Hen, thank you for the two months' crime.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Both. I mean, both might feel a little bit too much food, you know.
I'm going to get fa, fa, fa tie and I'm going to get some, some egg rolls and I shall,
there's a cat here in my mouth.
Ugh!
There's a cat here in my mouth.
You can't get it.
Are you serious?
Sorry guys, she was just being so rude, so, so rude to you guys.
26 minutes played.
Well I don't know why it says that because I haven't played the game before.
And even if I had 26 minutes isn't enough to have anything
Running install script okay great
Steam caught why is Steve exposing me for finishing the whole entire game in 26 minutes. Oh
my fucking god, bro
Okay
Let me sign into this. I think I have one of these accounts.
Account.email doesn't exist, okay? I do not have an account.
Let me sign up.
I'm 16 years or older. I do not want emails. I do not want ads.
Security code has been sent to your email.
Just, you don't need that?
Oh, really?
I can't see the game.
You, oh wait, you're right, I don't need it.
It's just it's launching now.
Erm, hold on, I can't tab out.
I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm stuck.
I'm stuck.
Oh, wait.
Oh, for God's sake.
Now it's stuck in this weird, like, windowed mode.
It cuts scene, whatever.
Yo, panthera, thank you for the raid.
Thank you.
And Edgon, thanks for 11 months.
And Nathan, thanks for five months.
It's not working.
Oh.
It's not working.
I'll fix it later.
Please.
Why am I so fucking stupid, dude?
Hey, Suna, thanks for the seven months!
I'm gonna re-launch it.
Who said space to full screen?
Electromagnetic, thanks for the 53 months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I did press F11.
Oh my f**k, oh bro.
Oh look, it's full screen now.
Okay, perfect. I'm just not gonna touch anything.
I'll just trick in the book, by the way.
Whatever, dude. Whatever, dude.
The chicken!
You do not kneel to dust your heads with air.
I like this comic book style art.
Why have the gods come to us?
It's interesting for a cinematic.
We must look into the trials we've failed.
Oh, it is the Witcher based on a comic?
In a time past.
Yo, 8-Bit Bunny, thank you for the five gifts.
Thank you.
Instructor, I reschedule for 33 months.
Thank you.
Oh, books, books.
Oh, that's right, that's right, that's right.
That's right.
I have heard that before.
to slip into our domain the offspring of that cataclysm was the newest force
called magic
yet we did not banish it instead studying the vile king for our own power
hot mama
Did we raise our swords against them?
Or have we laid this burden on others?
What's so cold?
The witcher.
Stray children talk the ways of foul sorcery.
Are they orphans?
I feel like I've heard that before too.
The figure of humanity.
Yeah, I'm the extinguished hour within them.
Yes. Their numbers have dwindled through the years. But if you still roam our lands, offering their bloody work for a coin, to this day they shame us with their very existence.
Why do they not like them if they protect them?
Flood by war. The battles are the gods' whip. Justizement for color sins.
Oh god.
How's their mutants, but they rely on them don't they? That's why they treat them like shit.
It's racism.
So it's like dirty work that they do, I guess.
Nigh is the time of the sword and axe, none of you are diswarming us!
Nigh is the time of madness and disdain.
Madness and disdain.
Sounds like you guys!
Haha, just kidding.
Uh, Collective Foster, I don't like Stata.
Sure.
Okay, uh...
Apparently, I started the game in 2016, that's- and I-
When I started 26 minutes, I literally played like 20 minutes, and then I don't even remember.
That was 10 years ago!
What?
How do you remember?
Okay, anything I need to do?
This graphics is steamed back to Ultra.
Update the title was wrong with my title!
Oh first time, which are great!
I mean it is my first time, I don't know why it says I have 20 minutes played if I did
not play this shit.
I swear, you have to believe me!
Okay, um, I can't-
Oh, is this more of a controller game or a keyboard game, would you guys say?
Cause I could do either.
I kind of per-
I'm starting to prefer controller for single-player games, controller.
Okay.
Yeah, I...
Like controller for sure.
Okay, the sun's starting to come down, actually.
Okay, no gain.
Fresh start.
Story and sword.
A lot of broken bones of your season-demanding game or death march.
You're truly insane in loving it.
Uh, there's a motion blur.
I feel like...
In a game like this, motion blur probably wouldn't...
Uh, I'll start off.
I'm gonna...
Oh wait, I'm sorry.
Death March? Cause souls like veteran?
AHH!
Games are pretty hard. Alright, sure, I'll do Death March.
Simulate which you're to say, what does that mean?
No? Wait, is it hard?
Uh, Nox the girl, thank you for the prime.
Xavier, thanks for 15 months.
Chancelly, thanks for 6 months.
And Laskira, thanks for the 2 months, it is hard.
Oh, what about a-
I don't even know my camera's walking or shit.
I'm worried if there's gonna be the weird windowed mode shit.
What about blood and broken bones?
It's kinda hard in the beginning.
Tutorials. What is similar to Witcher 2 save me?
I mean, I haven't done that, so I guess off.
Which of the choices you made?
Oh, okay. So off, because I haven't played.
Yo, and interagis, thank you for 33 months, don't call me a fucking pussy!
Holy shit, that's a sharp sword.
Oh my god.
Damn, the poor horse!
Yo, holy fuck, King Kord, 50 freaking gifted subs, thank you!
Thank you, King Kord, W, thank you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thanks, King Kord!
Oh my god!
Oh, the arrow's approaching through!
Oh, he's tracking.
the wet shran this way you can change the difficulty if you like later okay I'll
just stay on the next to hardest one then
oh yeah I know this character yet a fur because because a lot of people cosplay
her so I recognize her I don't know like anything about her though besides how
she looks. You know Gary thanks for the four months. She's beautiful. Damn, she's a baddie
and she's, she's, you know, cool and she can do magic and stuff.
Oh my god, it swallowed up the horse and everything!
Geez, I sucked.
Dude, watch out, that crow's gonna burrow through your eye.
Dude, watch out, dude, watch out.
Oh, that's her crow, don't mind.
Bro, I've seen what that bird can do.
Go save the man, thank you for the gift, Ted!
Oh my god!
There's a bird crystal all along!
Oh my god.
Damn, this is beautiful for a 10 year old game.
I mean Red Dead 2 is also, but Red Dead 2 is not quite as old as this, right?
is red dead too? Not bad, seven years. Wow. So is that like the- oh, there's more cutscene
Never mind.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
Why is it a bathtub scene at the beginning?
Oh, what the hell is that?
No.
What is that?
Oh!
Oh, no!
It's slithering in!
Oh, hell no.
Oh hell no.
How do you say there is a Geralt?
Geralt?
Oh no.
What just happened?
Geralt?
Jerry?
Ugh!
It wasn't meant to amuse, but to prod you to hurry. It's made to die.
Stop lolly-gagging, bro.
You promised Siri you'd stop dilly-dallying.
Go before Bessemer force her to death with those etchings.
Stop being weird!
Dude, he got fucked up. What happened to his back?
So is this Yennefer? Who's this?
So. Later then.
See you next time.
So, um, oh.
I feel like, um, this is very private.
This is her butt, yep.
Wow her eyes are so blue.
Stop dilly-dallying!
Oh, I'm playing now.
Yo, Ilnub, thanks for watching the month's- welcome to the tutorial!
Are you guys having purple?
Oh, they're- her eyes are purple.
Wait, they look blue!
Maybe there's the lighting?
I don't know.
It's really just the game's performance, uh, each message will be saved in the glossary
where you'll find these information about World War and gameplay mechanics.
Yo, OTC1 Dylan, thanks for the free months.
The Sam's Tournament is a great, definitely little tutorial.
I haven't played this before.
Despite what Steve may say, the minimap in the upper right corner
shows your current location in the surrounding area.
You can now find the objectives for your active quest,
use your Witcher senses to find the key to the bedroom door.
Yo, holy shit!
Night Hell, thank you for the 50!
Holy shit!
Oh my god, thank you!
Thank you! Oh my god! Thank you what the heck? Thank you so much! Thank you, Nyhill, A-ter- A-ter-num. I don't know if I'm
crossing the second part right. Thank you so kind. Thank you, thank you, thank you. W, Nyhill, uh, which-
Please, I'll use your witcher senses. Look for highlighted objects.
Why is this vase glowing red?
You're running out of juice?
Yeah, Gerald. Go get her juice. She's got bread, cheese, and grapes.
Oh my god, a life of luxury.
Okay, so after this walk I'll be able to press A. Innovative.
You know, Magnum gaming, thank you for the prime. Where the fuck am I going?
Then we got big ass basement. Are we rich or something?
She says, Jeralt.
Geralt. Geralt.
This is a series of female witcher, right?
I'm just guessing based off her design.
Sort of.
Uh, well, okay.
I guess I'll find out.
Girls can't be witchers.
The way she looks like them.
Who did that?
My thing is loading balls!
Thank you for the 10 gifts!
Thank you! Thank you, Ball86!
Thank you for the 10 gifts!
This feels like a movie!
It's been mostly just cut scenes so far.
Wait, is Ciri a kid? I thought that Ciri was a- Okay, don't get mad or we've spoiled her.
Um, where do you guys think the best place for my camera is? Maybe top left? Right now? I see. I see.
Okay, okay, okay.
Um, we spoiled her.
God, you made me spoil her.
We've spoiled her.
I've been saying it from the start.
Siri needs a firm hand.
Been saying that, true.
You better watch out.
And her eyes are cold.
You just let your mistiness do.
Fine.
I suppose I'm partly blamed.
But this has to end.
Now.
The link monsters is not something to be taken like.
Siri must understand that, if she is to be like this.
I'll see you below.
So she's trading the Beowicher?
I mean, she seems pretty good for a kid.
Wrong.
Oh, apparently she sucks, actually.
I'm gonna send you to practice.
Strike.
OOOOOOOH!
Oh, she got the sword!
Oh, she's blindfolded! Holy shit!
Circus, go it.
That was some intense training.
Wrong. Footwork.
Wow.
That looked good to me.
Very impressive.
Mutations.
Wow.
It looked good to me. Very impressive.
Mutations.
And you know that's no excuse. I'm sorry. It wouldn't happen again
It better not better not
Bezmer said if it does he'll make you eat a bowl of slugs covered in salt
You exactly so you best behave
Come on. We'll practice with the other time for my speakers. I'll be around the walls
Okay, tutorial time.
An elven bathhouse?
Okay.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Sierra.
I just stepped on her head.
I just stepped on her head.
daughter had I'm so sorry what did I tell you about breathing through your
mouth in rhythm with your steps I'm sorry dude I'm so sorry I feel so terrible
Siri cut it out I'm sorry it was an accident
I'm sorry, El dad?
Oh, is Siri his daughter?
That's Bebo running.
Come into trouble.
Should I turn back and help you?
Oh, adopted daughter, I see.
First!
No, you weren't you idiot! I was first!
Oh no, Bezmeya's got that look.
What did you expect?
Meow!
You're in trouble, little lady.
And everyone's fucked up.
Anything to say for yourself, young lady?
I'm very sorry, Uncle Vesemir.
Young blood craves action, I understand that.
But when you fight a beast, knowledge counts as much as your silver sword.
At the very least, you want to be able to tell a ghoul from an algour.
by markings, like unto the Panthera Tigris that in Zarecania dwells, and by the sickly
paleness of its visage."
So you did read the chapter.
Still, you should have asked if-
But you were asleep, Uncle Vesemir.
So you did the reading.
Well, I'll admit it right off.
Mmm, never pounce on an advantage as soon as it appears.
An advanced page?
They gotta make another Warp Steer game.
I probably want the fundamentals, just because I haven't played one of these games before.
Yo Jay Luke, thanks for three years!
to fight foes of all kinds, be they plate-clad knights, ethereal wraiths, or bone-crushing
giants to mash the strength and exploit the weaknesses of different enemies, witchers
need to use a variety of weapons and combat techniques.
The core tools of their trade are their swords, one steel for fighting humans and non-humans,
the other silver for slaying monsters.
Witchers also have mastered a simple form of combat magic.
These signs are not as powerful as the spells wielded by mages, but they can be cast very
quickly with simple one-hand gestures, making them quite useful in the heat of combat, which
is also adept in basic alchemy.
They can brew powerful potions, blade oils, and bombs, all of which give them a keen advantage
You can fight stronger faster foes.
Okay.
Uh, press...
I think this is our target.
I'm just trying to select the attack to be directed towards it.
Quick, guys. One, two, three!
Strong strikes.
Hit it all you guys!
Never lock your arrow by the witcher.
Is there a stand-up war?
The position theory.
Footwork. Remember.
So dodge, indicate direction, and press B.
S.B.
To roll out of the way, choose direction and press A.
So okay, it's like souls, but the buttons get completely different.
Siri, see how Carol pulls his sword. It's Angus.
Do I have to time the parry?
I'm just gonna hold.
Pretend now, live late.
Repost!
Straight!
Press LT, just before it should perform a counterattack.
Okay, there you go.
Maybe a sword.
Break me, fiend!
Swing your fucking sword, old man!
Swing that shit!
Am I doing it wrong? I think I'm doing it wrong.
I got the only one.
Activate the quen sign.
Now, young lady, bring the data and help us over a few witches.
Activate the Quen sign.
Select the Quen sign and press A to make it active, OK?
Pass, press RT.
Slides can serve stamina.
If your stamina level is 2, why do you can't pass that?
But let me move, like, around, walking around.
I am blocking the HP bar.
Yo, Mamma, two horns.
Thanks for 14 months.
to see why I'm you cannot do that in a person down just
I'll be to open the igneous line is that for a night
not for the quen sign. I've been threatened by now.
bird. Come on. I gotta do arred. See that Siri? Ard will knock anyone or anything off
Foul!
Time for Axe!
Dammit, I hate this feeling.
Axe...
Axe, you can really muddle your mind.
There it is!
Show her, girl!
Too late to surrender!
And now the year-den!
Did this series couldn't move by one?
magic craft that blows anyone who enters. Train bomb! Okay, this is kind of a lot to
remember, but it's not that complicated. Inhighlight a train post and release the
throw the bomb.
Controlls over if you want to continue training to stop training simply sheath your sword.
Hey!
me when I put it away
whoa you really showed him kid Ciri get down here
A little she-devil.
Soon as she's back, we'll send her to policy all the swords at Kermaw.
Find that helmet.
Ciri?
I'll make sure to find every last blade for you.
He's in trouble now.
What the?
What was wrong?
The black sludge?
Oh!
What?
Oh, fuck, fuck, here's happening.
Who is this?
Well, Cripsyrie.
Huh? Where are we?
One minute I was training with my home boys
And my daughter, now I'm out in the wilderness.
Oh.
May 12th, so this is in the past, I guess?
Oh, present.
Oh, so the other was the path, the training was the past.
I see.
I started in the guest room at Camoran.
I was relaxing at the top and next to me.
Jennifer.
Chris.
Jennifer.
Funny, isn't it?
She's never been there.
It seems so real in my dream though.
Was she nagging you about something?
True to life indeed.
Wait, you gotta see if you have two wives or what.
more than two days. What the hell? What the hell, bro? I've trained kids who were faster,
stronger. Kind of like you. I do not have more than two wives. Oh yeah, I didn't really
talk about this, but um, being extremely divorced. And I propose to Ray. Ray is my
my wife now. But I still love Emily, but she betrayed me.
Meanwhile one army or another now your XT bar is a little tight. We can do this from our trail
Stop talking for a minute and give me the letter. Yeah
true
How about that?
It does smell of lilac and gooseberries
You are gonna read it not sniff it
They must meet
soon
Will it be in there this evening?
Nothing else to guide us there
What's this post-crit?
I still have the unicorn?
That's private stuff unicorn.
We used it as a bed once.
Okay, I assume this is something from the other games that I don't understand.
Anyone care to explain?
What does this mean?
The books?
Don't worry about it.
You'll see.
Oh, okay. Sure.
What?
Okay, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Wait, you know that's...
Smell it.
Cool.
Ah shit, I'm not ready.
Okay, monsters, life on the continent.
And in the...
Skellige Isles is nasty.
Brutish and short, warlays waste the land, and those that spares live in fear of the
countless monsters lurking outside every town and village.
Monsters are shown with a silver health bar above their heads, indicating that you should
fight them with your silver sword.
How I know which is which.
Is it Silver Sword the one on the right?
I'm gonna use this one.
Why do I have my forcehouse?
I am not used to these controls at all.
How do I flip the torch away?
I don't want this shit!
Striking upon generating the drawing points, certain abilities you can acquire, allowing
to perform special effects to require and consume adrenaline points.
Adrenaline points for the client when you're not engaged in combat.
Of course. An army's past micro-pages follow. Let's go before any more show up.
By tally regeneration, you can generate vitality by eating or drinking or by meditating for
at least an hour while playing on the blood and broken bones of deathmortem difficulty
levels. Meditation does not regenerate vitality, okay? I'm playing on blood and broken bones.
Food and drink can be placed in your consumable slots for quickies during combat press, D-pad.
You have some food and quickies in your consumable slot.
That's it!
Oh, it's slowly ticking up.
Okay.
So how do I put my fucking torch away?
I don't want this shit!
I just drank some water.
Oh, I pressed R.B. because that's the Dark Souls button, fellow roach.
Okay, that makes sense.
Which are spent most of their time on the road in search of their next contract. They must track across wine valleys, climb over high-mound peaks, and trudge through thick bogs.
GERALT?
GERALT?
GERALT?
GERALT on this town has horse, Roach, to help him in his travels.
Now Roach come to you, double press, he'll say.
GERALT?
GERALT.
GERALT.
GERALT.
GERALT.
GERALT.
GERALT.
GERALT.
This theory collapsed
That are doors
It's the obvious throat, I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, thank you three months
More it's not exactly going our way. We had a side of northern realms
Not of its realms. Don't you mean some area in dead in her number one?
I
Can call him a gaggled or verbia
You guys know who I mean scarlet wanderer thing for the one year
Help me! Help!
Oh god.
What the fuck is that? It's like an eagle bear.
A burfin'?
Burfin'?
Yeah.
He's just taking his food!
Oh my god!
Ow!
What a fucked up haircut. Oh my god. That sucks, dude. That sucks.
Look at these guys' hair. Oh my god, what do we mod?
Griffith is not a Griffith.
That's the berserk guy.
You'd like a reward, I suppose.
Well, you could use a few crowns.
You don't know us a thing.
You use your money to go to the barber.
You don't know us anything.
Get your shit fixed and lined up.
And they call witches heartless.
Say they won't lift a finger without pay.
They also say mice were born of rotting straw.
Back to the trail.
Like I said, leads to the main road and ends there, muddled.
You seek someone-
Finally you're kind, what does that mean?
You seek someone- yeah, a woman.
Oh yeah, he's- okay.
So when he was together with Yedifer, that was the dream.
But he's tracking her now.
A woman.
Hmm.
Good lead.
You could use a good rye. Nice and cool, you know.
Rye? Like rye bread?
Yonkethu loops, thanks for 80 months.
There she goes, the beach theory.
Okay.
Riffens.
I, half eagle, half tomcat, just like on the Lord's Crest.
this was was carrying me dead cow instead of a scepter with an attack witness name
I'm a known...
Oh, scary! Oh, scary!
Greetings.
Greetings.
Greetings.
That's all he says?
Alright, back on Roach.
Go, go!
Alright, to the end!
The village... strange.
I thought so exactly.
The forest and the mountain shore...
Greetings!
Near the main road...
Greetings!
Cops is in the water, a stench of blood, burnt flesh.
Perhaps monsters are crazy sometimes.
You're nearing a village, don't disturb the peace.
Remember, town guards and hired watchmen won't tolerate theft,
and also it will look kindly on you, accosting others.
Local residents often erect notice boards
elements such as villages and cities. These are marked uh note thing on your map.
Examine them to learn about contracts, work for wishes and local happiness.
Why are you having XDD? Why are you assuming I'm gonna cause problems?
Oh look you can phase right through the...
Number two, we need to watch ourselves and why don't you?
And we should leave the source...
Well why why didn't the the NPC phase through them but I can't?
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
cute. Uh-oh. It's getting awkward in here.
I thought she was actually taking it down.
Reaches.
I'll not drink with Weevil or Spreex.
divorced, freaks!
Yeah, they are racist.
Beg your pardon for those thugs.
No need. We're used to it.
If I could jump you around here.
Armies just passed through.
Now Griffin's prowling about.
Already had the pleasure.
Ran into your kinsman, Bram.
Bram? How is he?
Alive. Senses regards.
Most of it just food and drink on the house. What can I get you?
All options marked
We'll open the shop panel. Okay. There's some Berg. Thank you for the sub. Thank you
I'm looking for a woman pretty busy place. Is there a contract on the Griffin got it? Maybe money
There are contract on that Griffin. No
Used to actually did it fully for nothing built in this nearby the order minute start a collection
Or go to the Lord for help.
Now the Oldman don't use the privy without asking the Black one's permission first.
And it seems they hanged the Lord.
So no contract.
Jane, we might have done something but not for free.
Well, oh true, the Gryphon got away, so.
Pretty busy place you got.
Nations on the move.
Some search for kin, others just want to get out of the way of the armies.
They all need food, drink, and the night's resting more.
So war's been good for your trade.
Aye, so far.
It'll be best to move peace again.
Times like these you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Okay, what you got?
Show me what you got behind the counter.
I don't have any money.
Buy and sell items okay um then I got nothing I have 250 coins
Decoy Gwent card, swallow the card in the battlefield. What are the cards for?
Looking for a woman, Raven hair.
Guys, our purple you're right.
You're right.
I've not seen nor smelt such a lady.
Believe I'd remember.
Yeah, especially I'd have figured it out.
It was so...
What are you trying to say?
That's from all over.
Might be worth a little while to ask of her.
I thought I should just mark.
We'll end the conversation.
Okay, well I've already talked through everything.
Thanks.
For everything.
I haven't been able to ask around about Yennefer now!
Angel Luda one days for six months
Why they're marking out them lines a
Passing out their patron me give it to their own. Hi guys. I'm looking for someone. Hello
We seek some peace and quiet out of my face freak for your breath sounds my beer. Holy shit
Options mark triangle will make use of the
Axi sign
This sign influences people's minds causing them to act according to your will
To charm more stubborn individuals who would otherwise resist, invest in the delusion ability in the character panel.
Talk. Now.
It worked! I think.
She's just like me and Red Dead!
buy people the fridge taken micah's mind and i'll take your tongue if you don't shut up
yeah sit down pussy boy mind your fucking business i'm trying to find my lady
i find my lady so mind your fucking business bitch god damn these guys think they can tell
Call back to me, Gayrault Rivia.
Gerrault Rivia.
Oh, sir.
Yo, talk free! Thank you for 52 months here, free! Thank you!
And Dave Boy, thanks for the intro.
Unlike the populace, I know the horsewoman of war is pure puppy.
Horsewoman of war?
Horsewoman of war? What do you mean?
Horsewoman of war? What's that about?
Folks say an omen. A beautiful phantom rides the fields at night, looks as you described her,
armies follow her, and all who cross her path may come to miss her too.
I can vouch for the last bit. Nowhere they saw her.
No, facts interest me, not fairy tales.
Guys, what's Gwent?
Why do you guys keep talking? I don't know what that is.
Not a place I'd ever expect to find a scholar. Take it you're fleeing the war.
Quite the opposite. Chase it. I've had it for the front. Tired of life.
I seek knowledge which I value more than life itself.
I've a thirst no dusty old tomes can quench. I wish to see the Nilfgaardian invasion with my own eyes.
Card game in the game. I mean, I'm still right at some point.
Back to your books, I just write about the war, what it's really like.
I don't know if there's a war emote where it's that cat in the war helmet, I want bad
That was a keynote, instead of the hallow eyes guy.
Oh, here we go!
Are you familiar with Gwent?
No, and I don't have time to learn.
But the rules are quite simple. Come, let's play.
Options mark card will begin a game of Gwent.
Okay, I will learn how to play Gwent.
Why are y'all tweaking? Isn't that good?
Stop!
You wanna begin the Gwent tutorial? Yeah.
Yo, I am...
Ooh, that's...
I am Ray! Thank you for the prime.
Went is an ancient Dwarven card game that simulates the clash of two armies in battle.
The players are generals and the cards are their foes.
You will go first.
To begin you draw 10 cards, this will be your hand for the rest of the match.
You will not draw more cards to use these wisely.
Choose a card to redraw.
This is a unit card.
The number in the upper left corner indicates strength.
When placed on the battlefield, this value is added to the total strength of the player
who placed it.
This is the unit's combat row icon.
This icon indicates when row on the battlefield, where the card can be played.
So it's close to how about range and siege.
Some unit cards have special abilities.
This K-20 Siege Expert special ability
is called Morale Boost, which grants plus one strength
to all units in the same row.
Pretty good.
Yo, NBC Matt, thank you for the five gifted.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh, wait, let me update the sub goal.
Let me update the sub goal.
Sub goal, let's do...
Let's just do that.
Weather cards are a special type of card. They reduce the strength of all cards of a given type on the battlefield, including your own.
So frost reduces close range, the moon, pose, and rain, siege.
Choose a card to redraw. Sorry, I'm just kidding. You can select the two cards to just put on a draw.
But let's skip that for now and go strain-applying. Okay.
Sick.
Oh my god, Nihil! Thank you for another 50 gifted! Thank you!
Thank you, Nihil! Thank you so kind! Thank you!
Is it Nihil? Whenever I hear Nihil, I think of- of- is it Mogue?
From Eldering?
In front of Nicola's weird womb thing.
Thank you, Nihil! Yeah!
Mogue. Yes. It is M.
Hee hee hee!
Thank you, NPC Matt for another gift sub. Moon 14 months. Oh, thank you for the five. Thank you.
Thank you, and Yoshida. Thanks for the nine months. Here's the battlefield. This is your side.
This is your opponent's side. Each turn, a player may place one calm in the battlefield or pass.
Each deck has a leader. The leader grants you a special ability, which can also be used once
during a battle. Trigger the special ability at any point by pressing X. This is kind of complicated.
Press A to select a card from your hand, press A again to place it on the battlefield.
Your turn.
Okay.
Um, I'm gonna place, let's see, M Hale, thank you for the gifted, probably, maybe this guy?
He says I don't, I don't want any of my characters to, I mean he seems like a frontline, right?
The number on your left by your icon shows the current total strength.
The number on the right shows the total strength for that row.
Both guys are updated when the cards play at the end of the round.
The player with the highest total strength wins.
During your turn you can pass by holding down Y. Once you pass you cannot play any more cards
during that round.
Your opponent can continue playing cards until he or she passes as well.
You should pass when you are confident you can win with the units you already have in
play or to let the opponent win and save your cards for the next round.
A round ends once both players have passed.
The players then compare the total strength or units to determine the winner.
Okay, all cards about to be discarded.
And both players' total strength will reset to 0.
Uhhh...
Okay...
Uhhh...
I would be honest, I didn't play a lot of Hearthstone or anything.
So the rain nerfs the catapults, and the frost nerfs the melee guys, if I remember correctly.
You're getting off that wagon one way or another.
whisk thanks for the three months. Okay so this front line is two strength so I
guess I will start adding a lot of siege I guess. The Star Wars Boy 76 months
thank you.
Yuri, thanks for 15 months. I don't know what I'm doing. Fighting Frost, okay, so that
nerfs the front line.
Um...
Remember that your leader has an ability?
How do I check the ability? Oh.
It is natural and beautiful that a man should love his sister.
Um, is a penetrable fog one of the weather cards?
Is a penetrable fog the weather?
Okay, yes.
Um, I don't know if I want to use either of mine.
Unless he starts adding um...
Siege units, right?
I think that the rain hurts the siege units.
Okay, that's the siege unit.
I'm gonna play this guy.
Wait.
I fucked up.
I fucked up.
I fucked up.
I fucked up.
Hmm.
Okay, what if I do this?
Now I pass.
The player who loses the round also loses a life gem.
The game is over once the player has lost both life gems. Okay, so he has one life, I have two.
But now I have a siege unit with a... I think that's not very good, right?
Oh, I get a card back.
North Razz an additional card.
Okay.
Your turn.
I feel like I'm off here.
I'm gonna be honest.
Oh, I always got frontline.
Okay, wait, this is good.
I don't have any frontline.
So, I'm gonna play this.
Uh.
I'm close.
Okay.
I'm close.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Rain, that's not good.
I think I just have to pass and pray he doesn't have anything else, right?
He won the tie?
That's his passive as he wins ties?
See, what the hell?
That's some bullshit.
Okay, so am I just fucked now?
Because I don't have anything else.
Oh, my food's almost here.
He wins the tie?
That's such bullshit!
Oh my god! Yo, Jig Junior, thank you for the 22 months.
Well, I lost my first game.
Acquire more powerful cards by completing certain quests, or by purchasing them from vendors.
I've fucking lost, bro.
It's not a game for everyone. Requires an analytical mind.
What?! What?!
If you ever find yourself in Oxen first and wish to play a true master, ask for Steppan.
A simple in-keep-by-trade, but true maestro when it comes to Gwent.
I'll remember that. Thanks.
Where'd he say?
Oh my goodness.
Kamaraska, thank you for 13 months. Not even a game, it's the tutorial.
I fucked up. I don't know what to say. I fucked up.
That's nothing else you've been needing.
Yeah, we got any of them Gwent cards?
Got anything interesting under the counter?
Depends what you're after.
Have a look.
That'll be all, man.
Goodbye.
Health Guardian rule to your liking?
What's there to like?
It's the same as any other.
acquisition this or that but they do keep the piece in the village I'll
grant them that you don't mourn to Marius passing I mourned it around half a
year back when King Foltes was cut down now now I just want peace okay we'll
buy then they will my food's here you got a new wet cart you want to examine it
open the game menu and go to the Gwent Deck panel.
Um...
Oh, here we go.
Gwent Deck. Welcome to the Gwent Deck Builder.
What players use their own customized decks?
Use this panel to manage your deck. Holy shit.
This is complicated faction. You can build one deck for each of the four factions.
Nelf Gorg, Wednesday runs in a draw, Grandcestershire after every fourth round, the Sony takes the first turn to keep a random unit. Which one's the most powerful?
Here come, bro, I'm not reading all this shit.
I'm later gonna be like, guys, what do I do?
Guys, I don't know what I'm doing.
I didn't wanna read all that. I'm gonna go get my food.
I will be right back.
Hello.
Hello, hello.
Oh, I've freaked out the sub goal.
Hey, guys.
Hello.
Oh, shit, what am I doing?
Sub goal.
It is not 12K.
15.
Okay.
Alright, my food is here. I feel like this is a great game for eating dinner because damn, there's a lot of yapping.
Hello sir.
Cool.
Yeah, super cool. Thanks for 15 months.
It'll lift you. It is nice. He's not just being an asshole
Why not? Yeah, you got a drink with him, bro. He's being nice to you everyone else is now
Let me cut to the chase you've seen her or not
How does he know?
My bag
Never mentioned your name. Oh, you described her perfectly once I hear something. I never forget
Come help me.
How do you know Yen?
What a question.
Master Dandelion's ballads, of course.
The only way a humble merchant might hope to rub up against greatness,
unless he's as lucky as I am.
Egg roll.
And runs into a very patient witcher.
It's a gargle of Rivia himself.
The Butcher of Blavikon.
The Butcher of Blaviken!
How do you know who I am?
Recognize me from Master Dandelion's ballads too.
To your hands.
This guy knows a lot.
He doesn't want to answer questions.
Oh, who are you?
What do you do? Who are you?
A mangy vagrant.
Gorn Tarodim.
At your service.
Vagrant.
That a profession now?
Ah, once a merchant of mirrors.
The madding crowd duck me master mirror or the man of gloss
Is this about love?
I'm gonna pick the simp route
Casted it's no Joe Joe Joe one two one
What do you know?
Tell me before you appeared. It never occurred to me that might have been Yennefer
Who would have thought?
Get to the point and the Elf guardian scout from the local garrison saw her where?
At their camp
She rode in there
Dark of night black and white gooseberries and yes honor
At a terse exchange with the garrison commander and raced off where to?
I'm the omniscient. Ask at the galley.
Is her smell really that distinct? He brings it up to literally everyone he meets.
Oh, the girl I love smells like lilac in Ghost Fairy.
That's one day I'll be in trouble and you'll be nearby to help.
I'm gonna ride out into the world.
Oh. Hello, guys.
I'm about to get him jumped.
Then fuck off.
Don't want your kind here.
Ha, too much. Don't want your kind here.
Uh-oh.
We're gonna get one. I want to stay long.
Back off! Mind control time!
I've got anything to you, so just calm down.
There was no...
No, no, no. You've done nothing.
Horse was working witchcraft! Get him!
Uh-oh.
BEARAS!
Die, motherfucker!
You're fine.
We're cool.
your game's stable I only save when you restart in milestones so you should save
your progress early and often on your own I'm not gonna remember to do that
saying hello dude I'm going in your pedals I see that says that there's stuff
if I can pick your house.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm not going to lose too much.
I have your horse down to double press L.
Hello, boy.
Did it, Ash?
I'm just following where the map's telling me to go.
Hello, boy.
I've got two swords actually, why does no one notice?
Should I pull my sword on those peasant guys?
I feel like people would have been pissed at me
if I did that.
You don't wanna go causein' trouble in the city, right?
I'm gonna get chased down by the police.
Like Arthur Morgan.
Oh, shit.
Place of power should draw from it.
There's no choice.
Oh, what the?
Okay, hello.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Where'd she go?
Is she done?
Hold to draw!
You get an ability point!
Okay, I'm not a character.
You can get experience points for killing monsters and completing quests.
You receive ability points every time you get a level or use these points to acquire new abilities or improved ones you already have.
You know, BK10, thanks for the 15 months. We don't need Geralt on the TV. He's on the screen already.
An ability color indicates which brand ship belongs to.
Okay, let's do...
I guess just like...
I guess just like the basic, character abilities for ability to affect.
You must first activate it by placing it in an open ability slot.
Okay.
You can deactivate abilities at any time and activate others in their place.
Yo Frederick, thank you for the two months.
All right, cool.
So what the fuck is this?
Is this like a crypt?
I don't think this is where I was supposed to go.
I'm just curious.
It's kind of spooky down here.
What's wrong with them?
Oh, look!
Let's get this done!
Oh my god.
A letter from Witcher Colgrim of the Viper School.
Take diagrams to craftsmen with the proper skills to have them craft the item for you.
Oh!
Uh, I picked up something with a yellow exclamation mark, which doesn't usually mean quest.
find diastral elements of hyperspool gear
well I found some gear oh wait
Okay, now, she currently equipped items, her other items currently in your possession.
Select the tab to show items of that type.
You'll find information about your most important character statistics.
Equip an item, select it and press A.
Alright, best items.
Booners from Roach, Oils Potion and Bonds, Weapons and Armor.
It's probably the largest small item in the description by holding...
Bro, this is so much to remember.
You can see I've given an item to look on...
...Geralt's Press X.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
I get it! I get it!
Okay, I get it! I get it!
Okay, I equipped, um...
...the better sword.
And the better gloves that I got.
Damn these gloves are way uglier, the other ones are way better, but they're better, so.
Okay, um...
Oh! More stuff!
Cool, okay, I think that's all here, oh wait, jail cell?
Oh, that's the exit.
Good luck!
Uh, find diagrams for all the elements of Viper School gear?
How do I switch to the original quest?
Name quest.
There we go.
All right, here we go.
Come on, Horses.
Oh my god.
Excuse me, gentlemen!
That's the milk part.
Are those the guys I'm supposed to ask?
I want to keep my egg roll before it gets pulled.
We don't have any bombs.
I'm like one hit.
Yeah, most of the items in your pocket you switch them. Very complicated.
Did I get them all? Ooh, that's a lot of shit.
Lots of loot.
There's steel ingots.
Am I going the right way? I'm just following where it's telling me to go on the map.
I'm sure it's fine.
I'm sure it was fun.
Oh, you're hot!
You're not good food, not for me.
I'm just saying hello!
Yes, okay, yes, okay, yes, okay.
Ah!
Is it true? North and women bathe, but once every three moons.
You are an odd feeling.
I have my eye on you, Nordling.
You are an odd feeling.
I have my eye on you, Nordling.
nice meeting you sir military come no locals allowed without the express
consent of the garrison commander I look like a local to you you look like
trouble dead wrong and make trouble go away
Oh shit, he's so cool
Oh, can we talk? Thank you, Sub.
Why'd he say that?
They hate me so much!
This is how I feel when I leave my stream starting soon screen.
Use special grindstones to temporarily enhance your weapons.
a bonus to the damage dealt by your weapons.
Oh, okay, sure.
My items have been in pawns.
How much grain will your village give?
Whatever you say, Lieutenant.
Look at my hands. Look. See the calluses?
These are not the hands of an excellent sea, but of a farmer.
So we speak, peasant to peasant.
How much can you give?
40 bushels, there'll be more sir, but our lads, the tamarians that is took from us earlier.
You will give 30 and that will do.
Let us settle on it and I wish to see the transport soon.
Well this guy's not so bad, right?
Thank you kindly.
Or at least he doesn't think that bad.
I summon only the elder man and the smith, Willis, but it is said he is a lord who are
too tall to be him.
ope this soup is going in guys
uuuh soup
I mean is it really nice if he's taxing them anyway
like does he really have to do that
I mean maybe its for the soldiers I don't know
Haven't thrown me out yet. Haven't called the guards. So go ahead. What's your price?
There is a Griffin in the air. Oh
Slay we saw the Griffin earlier. Then I shall see what I can do
Why do you care about this Griffin because I care about people
I'm glad I'm not so office-off.
I can sit on my hands or hire a professional or a professional it's a
deal some questions before I start now where the Griffin has its layer it kept
to the vulpine woods at first I sent a patrol there five young men a hunter
found them two days on damn he said five boys to their death because they wore
our plate and they were unrecognizable
taxing villages fields on the main road meaning it's abandoned it's later I
judge from your tone this will not be easy what do you require
I need a specific herb.
Okay.
I'll eat bait.
A specific herb.
Yeah, I'm cooking.
Thanks for a lot of months.
Buckthorn.
Cent should lure the griffon from ten miles off.
Buck.
Buckthorn.
I do not know this.
But I am not yet fluent in the common tongue.
Probably mastered the basics though.
Hands up.
Kill them.
No. First came Iguos. Don't play with fire for them.
Go to Tomira, an herbalist. She lives near the crossroads. She will aid you.
Girls got kind of a sassy mouth.
Need more information about this griffin. It's sex. Why it's abandoned? It's lair.
Shall I bring you witnesses? They won't say anything I don't already know.
Well, I didn't know if it's a boy or a girl.
Okay.
So we gotta do some work before we can fight the ribbon.
Gunrunner, thanks for 19 months.
The current class has more than one objective, you can choose which is tracked by pressing
R.
We will ask the hunter where he found the box.
Craftsman could craft a variety of items for you for a small fee.
Blacksmiths sports weapons, armors make armor if you find a cracking diagram.
Take a fifth craftsman of the right type of skull level and have the craft be added
for you.
I did find something earlier.
So there is a um...
Password!
So out for a little walk today. Counting the Empress' swords to lull you to sleep?
Well in the army we have a place for nosy Remblers, the Skaffold.
And thick, scold quarter masters, they got a place.
Heh heh heh. You're clearly skilling that bandit. And haggling? You got a knack for that as well.
How's the morale?
Morale holding up around here? You boys think you can win this thing?
Ah, a spy after all. Or one to stir trouble.
Neither. Just curious.
Right. Well, tell anyone who cares who will win this war, because Radovid is mad.
He's mad, as everyone knows, and we've an extraordinarily well-drilled and well-supplied army.
Incidentally, did you wish to buy something?
You got any cards?
You got any of them wet cards?
Damn, he's not... he's not got shit.
He's got some diagrams, though.
Okay, I'm not going to take any of this for now, oh, I'm crafting.
Okay, seems straightforward enough, I mean I assume I won't really be crafting anything
for a while, right?
I just kind of got basic gear right now.
Is any of this better than what I have?
This is plus 10.
This is a better Silver Sword than what I have.
These are not better.
This is worth to get early.
Why is level 12?
I diesel?
Thanks for 4 months.
You don't really need to buy gear.
Okay, well I'll sell the stuff that I don't need.
I'll at least sell the worst gear for now.
Is she pogging out bro?
I'm pogging out so fucking hard the Witcher 3 so fucking pog bro.
Dayroll to Rivia so fucking pog bro.
And the first so fucking hot.
I don't know what's happening
Signpost later travel directly from location to another walker to signpost and press a to fast travel
All right, well, this is probably the only signpost site that way I can go back here
Sorry, I'm hungry.
Oh wait, that's two, how many of the baggots are kids that-
Oh, that's not... Wait, is that... That's not a fur, is it?
That's not...
For who?
How the... Oh.
Yeah, she fucked up.
at night through the woods in wartime
meeting a boy the young you know do foolish things for love
Boons are healing but she will die God's pulling and what happened to the boy nothing I bruised he fine
I've agreed to kill the Griffin no more victims after I do
There will be of course
But the Griffin gone others will kill in its stead monsters or men
So what do you think I should do I just flicked soup in my eye
It was spicy too
Looking for buckthorn
Grows anywhere around here
Oh my eyes spiced you now
Thank you, man. Thank you. That makes me feel so much better. I was thinking a few years ago
We had trouble drowners under the bridge whole village had to pitch in for a witcher
You now can afford the bounty on a griffin's head. Captain Peter saw
Something something. Oh good to know the black one's looking out for our welfare
Doubt Emperor Mere cares about you this captain just might seems like a decent man
There are no decent men in the army. There are any orders
Not from here are you
Not a bitterness in you too much for someone who spent her life in a hut in the middle of nowhere
I feel like every woman's just flooring with him.
I'm going to press update notification while appearing on the left side of the screen.
If you're not currently tracking the updated quest, you can press...
Start tracking it, okay.
Bruid dose of the swallow potion.
Okay, we'll...
Yes?
Yeah, what's your story?
Remember how many times I've been there how many times mother Nenekas stitched me up. We must have missed each other
I started to become a healer under mother Nenekas
I was but 18 when they took me in
An age at which teachings in just one far less than love. Oh awesome. Oh, thanks for one year
Gozman boss man. Thanks for 11 months
The novices couldn't keep their eyes off him. Thank you guys. Feet drop things as punch the mic
I left the tent for him.
Sorry.
We passed a lovely summer together, and then he left.
In NNK refused to take me back.
My parents, that had not a word, gave me a travel cloak
and a small coin pouch.
I struggled long to find a place where I'd feel safe,
needed, until I finally arrived here.
End of story.
Hmm.
Cutting the herbs you're willing to sell?
I'm sure I can find something.
Urm.
Pressed items.
So what?
Damn, she don't have any cards, man.
No one's selling cards.
This is crazy.
Farewell.
Bruidosa the swallow potion.
Oops, I just ate a chicken leg.
I'm just stealing her shit, so while I'm supposed to loot these things, like this is literally her garden.
She's yawinking everything.
Go, go.
Hello ma'am. What next? The sloth. Am I that ugly? Why do they hate you so much?
You know, Jinxie wins. Thanks for the three months.
Okay, I have a bluey dose of the swallow potion.
There's two alchemy.
Alcohol, bombs, oils, potions, swallow.
Ingredients missing. I need dwarven spirit,
Spirit
Selendine in a Drowner brain
Can I buy that pull that from her yes
You got a brain you're willing to sell I'm sure I can find something
I'm not seeing a Drowner brain guys
Well I can sell her all of her stuff that I suspect
Okay, well I guess I need to go find some stuff.
She has salad, oh true, okay I need five of these, okay, and then fifth essence, I don't
think that's what I needed, uh, swallow, need dwarven spirits, oh bye, fifty.
Uh, Drowner Brain, that's all that I need.
Holy shit, I'm broke.
Farewell.
I got 53 coins left.
Okay, Drowner.
Um...
Maybe if I go over here to the water...
There's gotta be some kind of drowned monster, I suppose.
Oh wait!
Horse!
Horse!
What the hell?
I just randomly found a chest out here.
Horse!
Oh there you are.
Are you good?
I okay
Faster
I don't know what it is with me and horses and games and just it just never goes well slow now whoa
Okay, I found some water
This doesn't look like monster infested water a Drowner brain
There's a cluster over here, loot!
Don't mind if I do.
I
Next I knew there he was coming my way. Oh no
Grabbed me pan for protection see
He just asks all polite
Run body birds part by chance
Like that. There is or even a few calls
No, it says I
And you must be right dafter pester folk at night was such fullery
True.
And he never came back.
Interesting. That's what happened.
them. A four door. Another rode up to the hut. But come on, only the first fella left. Locked the
door, hooked on his horse, and that were all I saw of him and me pan. For old, black was sort not
worth much I suppose, but I've no other. Will you help me, dearie? Bring an old widower pan.
He's all by herself, she just has her pants.
He's dead?
Did I- did I get misunderstanding?
What does she mean he's lying there?
Look around. You should wait here. Just in case.
Don't worry, I'll get your pan.
Alright, well, I helped you. Now I'm gonna steal all your shit.
He is dead!
Rodding flesh. I'll take that.
I'm sorry.
You like?
Cracked Monocle.
Hmm, my crack's monocle.
Nothing.
What could this mean?
His throat. He was garudded.
And some old scars.
Kind of soldier might have but when I gap to me self they say I'm going
He's actually just talking out loud. He was grouted and some old scars
Kind of soldier might have
I'm looking I found your pan. Huh the press is frying pan
Scrubbed clean. Oh look. It's beautiful. Looks like the mystery man didn't need the pan so much as the soot off it to make ink
Right letters
Documents almost entirely burnt a few pieces still legible
I have chill. Oh my god. She's so demanding
Hello, ma'am here your frying pan
Oh, no, he has a clean pan.
And...
And the other fellow?
He's dead.
Round up a few boys and bury them outside the village deep so the necrophages don't dig them up and take my advice
Don't mention this to the north guardians
hang about
You've earned a token of thanks
All I get oh a nice white fish for
I did it.
I'll find some buckthorn on the riverbed with your witcher senses.
Is that what I think it is?
This isn't what I need though, is it?
probably not. Yeah, I think that's fine. Wow, this is beautiful! Holy shit, the sky's red!
Damn, I wish I could go outside. Imagine seeing the sunset. Beautiful. Yeah, it's crazy. I think
This game was made in 2016. I mean, no wonder it was so big.
Oh, there's a quest in here, apparently. I got to pick up every quest I can.
Hello, uh, Udallon?
Hello, sir.
Greetings.
You see the notice here about the world.
Well, first I've heard.
Well, well, well, why?
The well is haunted?
And where am I to get that? If not from the well.
But first, the ghost's gotta be driven away.
But it don't let any man near.
Describe the ghost.
Describe the ghost. Describe it for me.
Well, it's awful frightening.
Awful.
I meant what does it look like?
It looks like a woman, but fresh from the grave.
grave. Where's a dirty dress or rags skin flaking off its bones and it howls like it's suffering.
Some Wraith are maybe an Alp. If you don't wallop it, Master. If you don't take care
of it, it'll come kill me, daughter. Let's talk about my reward. I need money, bro. I'm
going broke. This is my job. So let's talk about my pay. Something not right with the
coin. Oh, the Haggle for a higher award
choose an amount. Prefer to press pressing A. If your counter-party accepts
you'll make a deal if it's too high. If your partner is annoyed, push too hard and
your shield break off negotiations. I mean let's do 25.
There in my life have I seen a sum approaching that.
Oh, 20. That settles it then.
I'll help
He's good. I'll take 20 settlement on the heights
It's abandoned now no one ventures there on the count of the ghost I mean I feel bad his daughter is literally dying
please
Asking for more when she has a sponsor a fucking Geralt of Rivia doesn't have any sponsors
Oh man, man.
Ugh, disgusting.
Nasty.
Terrible.
Hello?
Knock knock!
Okay, use your witcher senses to find the hunter.
Hello?
Trails fresh.
Mis love just a tomb.
Alright, we will find this man and interrogate him without intimidation.
Hello, sir!
You misloved.
Shhh!
Get at that!
Wolves? No. Wild dogs.
Yeah, you're right! Thanks for the six months!
You're dangerous than wolves.
Dogs more dangerous than wolves. Don't think so.
It's the truth. No why?
No, but I guess you're about to tell me.
Wolves hunt to fill their bellies.
Wild dogs kill for sport.
Just like humans.
Aye, they learned much from us.
Why not cruelty too?
I'm hunting bigger game.
Enough guardians to griffon killed.
Where'd you find them?
Ah, I see.
You were Witcher.
That monster slayer, they's talking about in the village.
Yo, CK Leg, thanks for too much.
I'll show you sure but they gotta kill those mutts for they hurt someone. I'll help you
What you help that is you don't mind blunting your silver blades on them
No time sure sure Griffin's not going anywhere. No dogs might though so step careful now
Come on
This dog's been a problem for a while now since the war started
The soldier on the march, he'll stop to rape a woman, strangle her, kill her man for a chuckle, even put her to the cat.
Oh my god!
And a dog, by kicking passing, no more, so these stray mutts form packs.
Oh wait, we have to cat more emote now, yes!
He's so much better!
Attacked another one.
He's so good.
I keep pulling out my fucking port cuz I have my brain thinks I'm playing Dark Souls
I have to be full-barred right here.
I'm drinking my api juice.
Oh god.
you know him we served at the Lord's manor together where the black army's
in camp now he was a stable hand I was the Lord's hunter but that was before
well a long time ago before what before what before they drove me from the
village what did you do nothing I'm a freak sorry we'd rather not talk about it
freaky I'm a freak too I'm a freak too I but of another kind if it's like
entropy I can help what like entropy we're wolves and a few cases in the past
It's usually a simple curse lord son Florian and I
We love each other. Oh
Detail walked in on us in the stables. They drove me away
Florian hanged
Lord started drinking and the estate they're wrong with a boy loving a boy. That's the long short of it
Let's go
What's wrong? I'm sorry.
How am I spread?
I need more of my Api juice.
I need more food.
I haven't been healing the full.
I assume this is the kind of game where choices matter for the ending, right?
So far I've been a very good boy.
I've been helping everyone and not asking for that much.
there by the stunk. Yeah. The other home from a branch. Guts, blades, stretching down to.
Watch out for yourself now. Should I keep being a good boy or should I be evil witcher?
I'll be fine. Not the first griffon I've dealt with. Not likely to be the last either. Hope you're
I do see the... wait, is that a can? Oh, it's a bottle. It looks like a can. I was like,
That's not the right time period.
Oh, more footprints.
Okay, so that's the walking end.
Fast travel, alright.
Follow the tracks using your witcher senses.
Well doesn't it end here?
Where am I following it to where they came from?
Hey!
Hey, let me up.
Bro, get up.
There we go.
Well, I lost him.
They go up more?
Ah!
I fucked up.
Oh my fucking god.
I thought I was running.
It's so fucking embarrassing.
Oh, shit!
Griffin's nest. What remains of it at least. Oh shit. Corpse is a couple of weeks old
Still alive when the Griffin brought him here
Took a long time dying. Oh
Oh
He's already dead
Rossi, I'm thinking for the prime. Oh, but why is the why are old? Oh a split bolt. He's got a book
Holy shit. Nice. Free stuff.
Female. Larvae and her wounds have already hatched.
And at least a week. Other Griffin must be a male.
So they killed... Oh, I see now.
Okay, so this is a different Griffin.
They killed the other Griffin's wife, so now he's pissed.
And that's why he's killing everyone I see
Deep cuts over the whole body
Not a drop of blood on the beaker claws. Yeah didn't defend herself
I'm tough on her while she slept Wow
Beak tips worn gray hairs in the coat
10 12 years old
That was a wife griffin for sure.
Mm-hmm.
They, they killed his life, life mate.
It's fucked up.
They killed his one crew love!
Okay, I have a new point.
Preparing for combat.
Never underestimate your opponent.
This rule is at the core of the witcher's code and for good reason.
Proper preparation has saved many a witcher's life.
It is likewise worth your while to group potions, concoct oils, or visit craftsmen before engaging
in combat.
You might want to complete some side quests for attacking this way to gain experience
develop your character. All right well I can level up so let's get flex arrows while
parrying, time slowed when aiming the crossbow, I'm just going to get another
All right, one, two, three, oh, hello, my game freeze, oh, okay, signs, hard, okay, alchemy.
I'm not going to worry about all that for now, I guess.
I will just do basic strength stuff.
Alright.
So they killed the other bird's bird wife.
Now I understand everything.
There's so many deer here.
Crazy.
Or safe.
Hello, roach.
What is that?
Emote!
No!
Ew!
Ew!
What is that?
Souls out.
No! EW!
Ew! Why does it have its souls out?! No!
No! What the fuck is that?
The dogs are howling.
I can't, I can't.
No, do not speak to me. I'm done talking to you guys
I'm done what happened here souls like
Roasted some weeners hell no, I think happened then what some bugger say like watch up. I've lost everything everything
easy on the insults I could add to your misfortune
any suspects hold down the village I've
left your half a century thought they saw
me as one of their own but everything
changed when the black ones came he's
your height emi with smith around swagger
to surface that goddess buying dents
why why he needs to do this every time
milk guardians don't pay me a bloody
copper just give me supplies and orders
If humans can't fathom that, they think I'm getting rich off there in this fortune.
I sleep on a pile of gold like a plowing dragon.
You've stopped talking to me. Spit when I pass.
And now this.
I can find your arsonist, provided you're willing to pay.
I've not much left, but I'll give you all if you bring me that horse so that he gets what he deserves.
The night of the fire horse and literally a horse on that to see if I can find any tax like a son of a bitch
But then I haven't got caught any other good luck
I'm just picking up all the class notice boards yes
Okay, we'll take everything, go to the world map panel.
Every location is covered by marks on your world map.
Jump to your current objective, press L. Okay.
I'm kind of ready to score a decent amount.
Kinda.
Check in!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
Hello kitty!
I'm putting the sword away. I'm putting the sword away.
Hello Kitty.
Is this a tutorial area?
Really?
Now, everything's all confused.
No, I did not do anything to the baby bird.
He's just forgotten.
You will not devoid of my age.
You're not just a free order, so.
What is that, Emote?
What is that?
Good news and bad news.
Good news first.
Captain of the North Guardian, Garrison knows where
the unit for went.
And the plan is to not kill the griffon for him.
What else could he want from two witches?
I don't understand.
Just like lilac in elderberries.
Delicious. How a real woman should smell.
Like lilac in elderberries.
I have no idea what it looks like.
Fine. If everything's ready, say the word and we'll get to work.
Should I do some of the side quests first?
Later, Vesemir.
Let me see. How do I switch the quest?
Why don't we do...
Okay, it's Swallow Potion. I still don't really know where to find the brain thing.
User wishes senses look at the forge. Okay, we'll do this one.
We'll help the root-ass, bitch-ass, force in blacksmith figure out who burnt his shit down.
I'll make some money here.
Any clues? Any clues?
I'm not really finding anything.
Oh!
Hold on!
Boost Prince!
Big Boot Prince!
Who could have done this and who would leave such large boot prince?
Stinks of piss.
gross he pissed in pissing vodka in his
footprints that is crazy the stench must
be unbelievable to be able to leave that
in your tracks oh I can see them took
off his boots and went in the water
probably wanted to cover his trail but
But will it work?
I gotta find where he went.
I bet it's over here.
Hmm.
Or maybe over here.
Oh, a chest!
And went in the water
a chest
Run blind. I didn't see that the first time a fishing rod
Guys
You can fish in this game and no one told me is the fishing in this game good or is it whatever? Oh
Wait, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Something jumped out of the rushes
Drowners or drowners. I sleep on the brains
Oh my god, I forgot my torch again.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Guys, huh? Do something!
Do something
Yeah
How I got their brains quite a lot
Like that silver I
I got the brain, okay, I can make the potion that I need.
Great.
This is wonderful news.
That is exactly what I was needing.
Okay.
There should be more to the trail.
Here we go.
not badly surface wound Christ so it should be easy to
is that you wait a second are you the fuck ass haircut guy meet again thank you
for saving me people say all kinds of things about witches but I've always
known yours to be an honorable guild see you managed to salvage some goods yes
But I await the repair of my wagon. As time passes, my losses grow. Do you need something? I'll let you go half-free.
Really?
Let me have a look at your stock.
Yanni cards, amateurs weapon repair kit, rabbit pelt, fair hide, sheepskin, cotton,
griffin, decoction, taking damage raises damage resistance for the remainder of the
fight.
I'm too poor!
Fuck!
I'm too poor!
Fuck!
Uh, runes stones. I don't know how to use that.
This item cannot be sold. Holy shit, I'm poor.
Uh, I don't know what all I need to hold on to, so...
Take care.
Okay, well it wasn't that guy, thank God.
It'd be so awkward to save his life and send him to jail.
You real fucking awkward.
Oh, mushrooms!
Excuse me?
What did you say?
I'll recognize him by his wounds hello, boy
Mind if I do
I
Like ease
Like ease wait didn't they say that's healing you'll get caught I
Mean I haven't been caught yet, so I'm gonna just keep doing it
Times times are tough, you know, I'm just a poor witcher. Oh, hello, sir
Mark's it's gotta be him
excuse me are you free to have a conversation right now nasty wound run
into a drowner what the fuck do you care whoa our arsonist the charmer no one's
ever like why are you in my house Smith wants to talk to you and they apparently
hate which is to find with you walking in bitches all and dwarves are the worst
greedy little magpies do anything for gold they will they force the blades of
Black one's put to our throats, am I not right?
Listen, we can work this out, man to man.
I give you gold, and don't turn me in.
My mom died a while back, and I sold her tools.
I spent some.
But what's left is yours.
No!
Magpies, you don't have to do that.
Don't be greedy, but I'm not.
Can't buy me.
You know, beat your fucking mug to a pulp!
I'm gonna brainwash him.
Calm down. Now follow me.
Easy.
That was fucking easy.
Alright.
Time to go. Where are they eating? Everyone's just eating bread, fish, and cheese.
Honestly?
I can eat bread, fish, and cheese every day, honestly.
Apologize.
Not even that bad.
I love all three of those things.
Can you hurry up, man?
Holy shit, is he going to be this slow the whole time?
I like to pick him up.
Holy shit, can I get him on my horse?
Boosh, boosh, boosh.
Oh. Do I just follow him? Hurry up, bro. Get! Get! This might encourage him a little.
Oh
I was just kidding guys. I was just kidding
Guess I can steal people's plants on all waiting
Hurry up bro, I gotta go kill a Gryffind!
Hurry up!
Jesus Christ!
Dude, why didn't he just carry him?
Like, isn't he jacked as hell?
Go faster!
Go faster!
Taking his sweet ass time.
This sweet sweet ass time.
Now get up there and apologize you piece of shit for what you've done.
Get into my sight now!
up in Adam what what's going on here you go one village pyromaniac in the
flesh not you undo your mom for years charge the area copper
what the heck was that
soldier a minute of your time please no willis I beg you I was drunk didn't know
what I was doing I've told you master ways we will help you rebuild once
reinforcements come the supplies have been over that not what this is about me
this here's the arsonist a witcher found that I did was important to the
Garrison destroying it was sabotage
No trial needed here. Just a tree
You race Harold, thanks for three years welcome back a
Tree wait for arson
What wait, that's crazy
He was drunk too, apparently.
Oh my god.
It's a wartime brawl.
Oh my god.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you sir.
Well, that guy's fucking dead.
A return customer, welcome.
What can I do for you this time?
Uh, what can you make?
Like you can forge something for me.
I can't make shit.
Okay, what you got?
Um, who boots?
I don't have...
Oh, a saddle?
Um, diagrams.
I'm gonna get some boots. I don't have any...
I'm too poor.
Bye.
Oh.
That is quite unfortunate, isn't it?
Okay, well I can brew the swallow potion now.
Uh... Alchemy.
I already read this. Swallow Potion.
Alright.
Take it to the Herbalist. Okay, perfect.
Horse-eye!
Why is the horse named Roach?
That's it, Roach.
Why not? I don't know, I was just asking.
Like, Roach for a horse name?
Congrats on winning Master Baker, thank you!
It was a very stressful competition, but it was very fun.
I enjoyed it.
I actually had a lot of fun.
I got your potion.
I got your potion.
That's my capitalism.
Decided it was better than doing nothing.
I like you, Witcher.
Here.
A small gift.
For giving it down.
What did I get?
I did it.
Quest complete.
What did I get?
We're gonna have 15 experience points.
And 50 coins!
Okay, not bad!
Oh! Make way!
Sorry, sir.
Yo, I'll zoom through the gate for the five months.
Come on, Roach.
Come on, Roach.
Oh. Uh...
Books and scrolls.
I once rather added to the books panel in the glossary.
You want me to read the books?
I don't...
I don't need...
I don't want my air conditioner. It's so fucking hot.
Don't start to eat.
Come on, son.
Oh my god, it's 77 degrees.
Bro, they're playing the Super Mario Brothers Super Show on the TV.
Don't let me win.
Hello, of sweat and blood, a veil hangs between the world men see and the one they cannot.
This veil blocks the dead from the view of the living, and the living from the view of
the dead.
Some may just can break through this veil and communicate with the dead, or else summon
them to the world of the sun for short periods of time.
This is the art known as necromancy.
The dead can also break through the veil and enter the world of living on their own.
Yet unlike the Necromancers, in doing so, they are not driven by reason and will, but
by a thoughtless, irrational need.
This need arises from powerful emotions such as regret, longing, or wrath.
Very often these emotions gain their power by being invested in a material object by
the dead individual while he or she still knew life.
The objects most frequently so endowed, wedding rings, favorite toys, or the instrument used
for the crime, which sent the returned individual to the other world in the first place.
Okay, so it's like dead things in every game.
Okay, um... quest.
Complete your collection of Gwent cards?
Oh, collect them all!
So that's like a long quest, probably.
Okay, I'll do this quest and I should be good to kill the person, I would think.
Most likely.
It takes most of the game, holy shit.
Where is it taking me?
Where's it taking me?
Goose, watch out!
I hit the goose.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
And close to Dune-Wilden-Wert.
What was this?
Why is there a question mark on the bridge?
I'm doing this shit.
What the fuck?
I swear I did not press for him to do that. He's got a mind of his own.
Come on.
You know, kamikaze elf, thank you for one year, welcome back.
Hello sir.
Do that often?
Talk to your dog.
It's my brother's bastioness.
But...
Guess he's mine now.
See...
Bastion fought the black ones in a battle, just outside the village.
Having had word with him since.
He's my brother, so he's my sister.
He's my brother, so he's my sister.
Oh, hello sir.
Hello sir.
Hello sir.
That's smart honestly, just cut your fingers off.
Duh.
You know, Brett Davies thinks for the ten months.
I'd walk the battlefield if I were you I did
See you corpses and corpses feeding
Someone told me there was fear of fire. So I took a torch tried to chase him off horse shite. I tell you
Would have ended up beating alive as the world for the side here
Listen guessing you carry those swords from the show
Come with me keep the girls off. Help me find Bastion and I'll pay you well
Hell yeah! I'm down to get paid!
Fine, I'll help you. Just been a few days since the battle. Chances we find your brother alive are slim. Very slim.
I would have thought, but I want to find his body at least. So bastion, don't not bear in the sun with the black ones.
Meet me on the hill, overlooking the battlefield. We'll move on together from there.
Okay, let's go Roach.
Oh, so pretty.
I thought this game was mind blowing when it came out, or were there already quite a
a few games out like the um, I'm not sure, where there are already quite a few games
like this.
Come on, Roach.
Do I have to wait for him to make it up here now?
I guess I do.
Oh!
Time to wait!
to wait. Game of the Year 2015? What was Game of the Year 2014? Just like for comparison.
Skyrim oooooh, Dragon Age ooooh, Wii Sports ooooh, oh, oh, you're here!
You're here good, Bastion, his body must be here somewhere.
It's your three feet bloodborne?
I wanna examine the light and the beast.
Like 2014 must have been crazy here!
you needn't fret
Oh my God
I approached from my orchard to paint you the small flower on their shields
so as to be able to spot each other in battle.
There was just a few of them. We look for the flowers. We'll find Bastion quick
No, I'm sorry. Many of soldiers dropped his shield
Especially if it was on the losing side
There's always fucking sleep. My whole life
The sole case is sent to lead us the bastard. Oh, I'm so sleepy. See who we get this done the better
Jack as well thought I was directed to a general area when the exact vision is unknown go to the marked area
So many corpses and the war has just started.
I hear a lot of corpses. I hear a lot of loot.
And you know we are broke as hell. Oh, it's a fucking ghoul.
I like you bitch.
Okay, look for highlighted areas.
Can you find traps in the clues, walk close, and press 8 examinem?
I already know how to do it.
Does this game think I'm actually dumb?
Like I've already done that, bruh.
him? No. Doesn't look anything like him.
You come off fucking stupid, bird.
Skin's burned off. Come on, aside.
I'd be hard to tell, I know, right? Could this be him?
Is this him?
He found him. The star's caught. He's sent. Come on.
Oh, like the dog found his scent?
So is he alive then?
Is he a deserter?
I mean, fuck, like at that point, mice will run away, right?
Can you blame the guy?
But there is more.
My lieutenant demanded we defecate on command.
Ballista bolts landing all around, and all he could say was, their soldier with a full
Stomach will not step onto the battlefield now shit. That is an order. Can you believe it the cretin?
That needs a tourniquet but first I want to explain what's going on here
This guy's name of board pants. Do you think you're getting paid for this? I did notice he's not wearing pants
He saved my life
I got a cut to his side and that guy hit me head. Couldn't see anything.
Rosinia found me as he crawled across the battlefield. His legs twisted and so we were.
Blind man leading a cripple found his place.
Yeah, where are his pants?
I'm taking you home. We need to see to these wounds.
I won't leave Rosinia.
Alone he'll die.
And he can't go back to his home.
He's deserted.
They'll hang him.
And what if they find him with us?
They'll hang us all.
My Laisha included.
No, the black one stays here.
Aaaaaaah!
As Jinomi made it with the black one's help.
Okay.
Maybe you want to show him Nordling's aren't as barbarous as nof guardians make us out to be
Well, I could give him our past clothes teach him to work the field
Stop and grow his hair out accent. You can't recognize me if you don't hold any more
Thank you Witcher
your reward and the gods protect you
All right
Bloot.
Alright, well I've got 25 crowns.
Quest complete.
I think I finished everything pretty much.
Which are- oh, it contracts.
Find the spirit that haunts the well.
Okay, I'll do that one.
Cause I haven't got to level up yet, which I thought was the whole point of doing the
side quest.
I'm level 2.
I'm a little baby bitch
Sorry horsey my bad Roche my bad my bad
Okay, all right, quest.
I find a spear that haunts the well.
The XB bar is the top of- oh, okay, so I'm pretty close to leveling up, then.
I think after I do this witcher quest, I should be level 3, and then I'll go effectively
I'm making some good progress.
Oh, I'm not implying the game.
I think only like two hours, right?
I do like it so- oh shit!
Oh shit!
back off you made me beat you like that silver
So are all the monsters pretty much dead, people?
Oh shit, I'm about to die.
I can't even see my health bar.
Now I'm not all alone.
I really thought, bro, I'm so fucking greedy, bro.
I never full heal.
So where am I?
Do I have to redo anything?
I hope not.
Okay, now.
Thank God, bro.
Okay, I will start paying attention to my health bar
and taking good care of myself, I guess.
I was literally one fucking health.
My bad.
What's your fucking problem?
God!
They really hate witchers, but I mean, they rely on witchers to kill one of them.
Monsters and stuff, so why?
Come here ghoul
Tell me your goal while you're running.
You know, Zomrock's switch stays for 6 months in Raiden Darth, and he's going to be 26 months.
I feel like the shield is broken.
I also feel like this guy is broken.
What are you doing, man?
I like it over.
Do I stuff in a tree?
I got 90 experience points, I was just a decent kid.
What do you want?
I just helped you guys, I'm looting.
What you fucking get?
What?
Well, got anything interesting?
You got any cards?
Scott doesn't have any cards.
Ooh, formula for brewing alcohol.
I mean, I don't think I can really afford to spend money right now.
I'm so poor.
So, so poor.
Very, very, very, very, poor.
All right.
Strange. No sign of a ghost. Maybe it only shows at a certain time of day.
Certain time of day, huh? I don't know if that's a hint.
Glass around the well is scorched.
Oh.
That's a dog!
A noon wraith. Does that mean a wraith that appears at noon?
Uh, ha ha ha!
Uh...
Could it be?
Hello? Mr. or Mrs. Ghost?
well. A new Wraith won't stray too far from the well.
A new Wraith!
Oh my god!
I feel like there's some kind of trick, probably, right?
Let's try the telekinetic fire.
Ow.
Um.
I'll try the fun.
Oh, that was fun.
What the fuck just happened?
Oh, wait.
Okay, well...
Uh, read about noon rates in the B-Styry.
Okay, um...
Devil by the well
Okay, so ghosts are vulnerable against the purple thing
The residents of white orchard has suffered more than their fair show of misfortunes
Passing armies to trample their spring planting a griffin had begun abducting their livestock and the rotten icing on this painful cake a
Noon wraith haunted a nearby well. No wonder locals called this final evil a devil the witcher could sense something bound her
to this place, and that in order to send her off to the ethereal realms, you need to learn her secret.
Once that was done, you would have to prepare for battle, and Anunraith is a demanding opponent.
She can disorient her victim by blinding him, and creating mirror images.
These copies slowly suck their victim's life energy, while their mischief remains untouchable in order to defeat her.
I wish if I were allowed on Silver Sword, the Yuriden Signals needed to track her and force her to take on material form.
Okay. Um...
Oh, Noon Race.
Holy reading bro- OH MY GOD!
Holy shit!
This is on Earth, their neighbors.
Uh, when Sarge's done it, race will appear at times of gear.
There's Noon Race spirits of young women and girls who'd died in violent deaths right before their weddings.
driven mad with pain or anger, they wanted to fail searching for their unfaithful lovers or backstabbing rivals,
though they will kill anyone who does not get out of their way in time.
They're held in the world by some audacious, intense emotional significance.
That's why if anyone ever finds a wedding ring or porn veil in the middle of the field, one should not pick it up,
but instead back away as quickly as possible.
Okay.
So, we have to find her ring or veil, I guess.
How do I get back there?
Nothing to see here.
Holy shit.
He just walks right through the wood.
He doesn't give a shit.
All right, not finding anything in that house.
I don't know what I'm going to use all this, but I think I need everything.
Oh, red book? Yellow diary.
Uh, it's happened, Volker sent a petition of our grievances against the Lord to the
Count at Vizema.
List of all the harm he's done, how he killed Johan for not taking off his cap quick enough,
how he trampled our fields when drunk with nary a thought of repayment, how he barged
in during Peter's wedding and demanded his right of the first night.
Now we finally got what we begged, Malithy, in our prayers for so long.
The judge recognized our grievances and waved all our bonds and duties to the Lord.
We can finally strike on our own, at least at last we can live as free men.
Today's the first day of our freedom.
Hubble's not much of a village yet, but to my mind it's better than the most fantastic
palace.
Volker fumed our home with hazelwood smoke to drive out evil, buried a martin under the
gate to make sure no thieves cross our threshold, and then he gave me a bracelet, loveliest I've ever seen.
Mother said it's foolish to spend so much on a bobble, but we haven't ploughed our hose,
and that we ought to return it to the merchant. Over my dead body, I'll never take it off.
I'll always be there to run me a vulker, how happy we were that day.
They say the Lord is coming to see us, and he wants to make a deal to beg us to return to the village.
They say he's calm since his son died, that he's not as quick to anger about small slights.
Well, we'll see one way or another. I have no intention to move one inch from here
And bracelet
Stabbed with a knife died on the spot
Animals fed on his body picked the skeleton clean more blood stains over there
But it's not his blood a man
Stabbed with a knife
I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
Okay.
Good grief.
Oh, there must be her in the well.
I know that print by the well damn he's a good tracker huh can you really track things
like this in real life like blood stains for decades and I guess on the well maybe blood
That stain's almost faded and the line's taut.
Something's not right.
Is her body in the well?
Hanged by the bucket room.
Woman the journal belonged to must be.
That's so sad.
She has wanted to live a life with her husband.
My purpose, small job.
woman round 30 judging by the teeth left arms missing
need to cremate the remains gotta find the object that binds her to this place before i do
they chop off her arm for the bracelet from her husband might be why her arm fell off
that was the bracelet on the bottom of the wall oh good grief
Hey, it's her arm!
Uh.
Well, now we gotta get out of this cave.
That shit ugly as hell!
Oh my god!
Looks like a barrel!
Rude!
I mean, I mean, she's dead, she can't hear!
find a way out of the cave, I'm watching the TV, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Guys, I don't know how to get out.
They got to swim down and around somewhere.
Probably it, right?
Oh, yeah
Oh god, it's dark it's fucking scary
Uh, which way did I come from?
Okay, I think it's this way that I gotta go.
Alright, back under.
Bro, I could never do this.
He's brave as hell.
Alright, well now where do I go?
You went backwards? Wait, you're right! Wait, you're right! Oh my fucking god, that's
so annoying. Okay, well, that makes sense. I was like, why does this look wrong? Oh,
Damn it.
I have like absolutely no sense of direction.
There we go.
the exit. Okay, prepare to fight the noon wraith and light a fire near the well. Okay.
Do I really have to do that though?
Alchemy, Wraith oil.
I don't have anything for that.
Well, I know what she's weak to at least, so I think it's fine.
It should be okay.
Igny.
Have you saved in a while? Oh shit, I haven't.
I haven't saved in a while.
Perhaps you got a long ass tongue.
Hey, I think it worked.
Uh, how do I save?
I have a plan.
Mr. Nerve.
Oh shit! Ow ow ow ow ow!
I'm in trouble.
I'm blind.
Oh no!
He's bringing me bones!
Ow! Ow!
I rarely got her.
Take a trophy from the noon wraith.
Essence of Wraith, Spectre Dust.
Wraith Trophy.
Okay, return for reward.
Nice.
That wasn't too bad.
Not too shabby.
Oh, we're safe.
Oh, we're safe.
You're crazy, Demi.
Thanks for 25 months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I just pull it here.
My bad.
I'm sorry.
Alright, give me this reward bro! Look how close I am to leveling up!
Give me my 20 gold bitch! I gave it to you for a cheap price!
Christ, cause your daughter's dying or whatever.
Oh, that's a long, long, long, long.
No.
Oh, okay.
Does he want to marry Yotufur?
I'm going to level. You know, that's all I need.
We will take those. Can I even level anything up? Oh wait, um, mutagens and appropriate swaths to get a bonus to your character's statistics.
She's a mutagen placing in the indicated swath.
Mutagens grant bonuses to your character's statistics.
bonus mutagens and abilities are more for the color
bonus mutagens and abilities are more for the color
put a mutagen in the field with one ability and the same color increases the bonus
the color doesn't increase the bonus
the increase of the game for mutagens in the same field do not matter
okay
the color is in the field with color, the grayer the increase
use some brothel potions called mutagen decoctions
Okay, so maybe I should try to get a green one I guess.
Yo, DN3D Gamer, thanks for 16 months.
I'm brewing and drinking a Witcher Potions.
Oils.
Okay, I guess we'll get some potions.
Okay, time for the Gryphon fight.
So if you're healing potions, uh, how do I equip shit?
And we've lost the record level swallow potion.
I want to quit some bread and this drink and um this beer yes he will be eating good
How are you yapping when your friend's bald and her eyes out?
Oh, that's right.
Shut up!
Alright, let's go.
Through the Thunderbolt Potion.
Okay.
The Thunderbolt Potion.
Sick. In order to use it under gameplay, it must first be equipped
in the inventory panel.
Thunderbolt Potion.
And I use this potion during gameplay.
Okay.
Holy shit, he's fast as hell!
Zoom and save? Oh, charger, sure.
Uh, how do I save as a meditation?
My first save, you cannot save your game right now.
Game saved.
You know.
Sick.
That's it Roach!
That's it Roach!
Wash out, child!
Uh...
Oh, I'm fucking blind.
Are we kinda close to the town?
Maybe it doesn't matter.
All right, let's do it.
I'm too weak.
And that's what worries me.
Northguards crossed the pontar in the east.
What's the...
maybe a week's march from Camoian?
If they reach the valley before snows can cover the passes...
you know, we need to cover our tracks, hide our paths.
Speaking of winter and wintering,
you think you'll come this year?
Maybe.
Might bring a guest.
I think the- is the griffin really gonna fall for that?
It's time.
Oh, Crossbow. I haven't used that yet.
Not that bad. Always let shit us on the evils, but you're a gambler yourself stop talking got a gritham to kill
Fighting time
Watch out
Think I drink the potion
It's about to die
I got this
It's fast!
Oh wait, how do I swap out?
I didn't eat the potion. I ate some bread.
You're up.
Oh, you're right.
Don't let it get away!
I'm trying.
Holy fuck, my aim sucks.
Holy shit.
I'm trying
Holy fuck my aim sucks. Holy shit
Come back
Where did he go
Oh
Come back, please
And I fell and now I can't see him die.
God fucking dammit, dude.
What the fuck?
Does this always happen to me?
Every time, dude!
Some shit like that happens!
Okay.
Oh, the eye, the heart, the egg, the brain, the mutagen, and the trophy.
He got it all.
The goofiest gameplay.
That's the approach.
No I don't.
I just have terrible luck when I'm playing games on stream.
I guess horrible.
Have I already been here?
Is this another one?
I'm just gonna check.
Pretty sure this is the one I've already been to.
Oh, okay.
get the above multiple times. I see. Here lies the mortal remains of Florian Varieris,
who dialled childless in the flower of his youth, stricken by a-a-po-flexi while hunting.
May Melotil-Hellie forgive him for his-forgive him his sins against nature and its laws."
rest in peace come on roach
Back to town, and back to the fortress.
Excuse me!
All right guys, I think I finished the tutorial
Long ass
Shut up
What the hell is this
Oh, right. You take me for a blind man or a fool. This grain is rotten. I didn't know.
So, a fool. Damn it, she never learned. Military codex, article 2, section 3. For the delivery
of defective goods, 15 lashes with an out. Make it so. No, no, no! By the gods, no!
I thought this guy was chill!
Fifteen lashes, ouchie.
No more Captain nice guy.
Guess you've dropped your good uncle act. It was no act. I extended a hand to these people
They spat on it
They even helped the sword that killed their loved ones
Yeah, a moralist, but what would you do with my stead?
Wouldn't ever be in your stead
Tell me why you've come
He killed the graphite
Fulfilled my end of the bargain, your turn. Where'd Yennefer go?
So, to Vesema, she was a days ride from here the whole time, under my nose, might have
said so.
Yes, I might have, but you would not have killed the Brissi, except for that.
Halt!
We are not done.
It's yours, this gold.
I would not want you to say you were inadequately compensated.
Time constraint options some dialogues demand you to make a quick decision. She's your play for timers out. I
Should take it right like why why would I turn it down from this guy?
We need the money
I
Getting washed
How much money I have four hundred dollars
We are so back
We are so back.
All right, back to Vesemir.
Flylack and Gooseberries.
I wonder how long till we find Yennefer.
Early is not a home game type of situation, right?
Also, we haven't seen Siri.
She's gotta be grown up by now, right?
I would just assume that she's the character from how often I see people cosplay her.
Go, go!
I'll see as many Yennefer cosplayers.
Yo, gunblaster, thanks for the 8 months!
Thank you.
How am I f-ing?
I guess I gotta call the ISP people out here again, man.
It's been getting real bad again for a while.
I wasn't really having any good rate at peace.
Freaking spectrum, bro!
Sorry, guys, man.
I just mowed over everyone on that bridge, huh?
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Oh, I-I-I'm not fishing this game.
It's raining.
It's raining.
I'm burning.
I'm trying to tell you guys.
I don't like me.
Jennifer's in Vazima.
I've got a few friends there, so...
Something wrong?
Look around.
Trouble brewing.
My whole shit is lagging, dude.
Who are they?
Patriots.
Drinking their seventh round for Tamaria.
Fists starting to itch.
Don't see any North Guardians. They'll find another fall. I'll buy some provisions for the journey then we'll go
Geralt, I knew this was AI what the heck this once. Yeah, we thought she gets a sub to spectrum
Let's trick and go
What happened to the lilies
to come down to hang a golden sun now I cannot show to me colors they'll come
and burn the tavern oh thank you thanks for a 54 months you fond of the
Thank you, thank you!
Thank you!
Let go!
You don't move very you cunt!
Ah!
Oh my god!
Dude!
Dude!
Stop!
Let me be!
What the fuck?
Recognize this, Medallion.
You know what it means.
Back off.
Oh hell no.
You alright?
Next I wish you steel youngins.
That's true.
Nope.
I promise you freaks, you're on land.
No.
Lucky did the elps once.
No.
Get out, Arly.
We ain't going nowhere.
And neither are you.
They won't back down now.
I can see it.
Nope.
Nope.
Oh my god.
I'll die.
What the hell?
No you
What a fucking mess it's all right it's over
see his face God save us be gone and don't ever come back
they were just trying to help so much for not getting involved come on let's go
yeah we just chop their heads off right in your business but whatever
uh oh that brawl we didn't start it uh oh the edifer oh shit we found her that's
fast excuses excuses you've not changed a bit
yeah yeah how he's here report about a witcher who appeared in white orchard I
I knew it was you looking for me. I might have waited until you found me, but
You know me patience has never been my strong suit
Good to see you
I'd even embrace you why you're not covered in blood
Sorry, I wasn't expecting to see you to be honest. This isn't at all. How I imagined we'd meet
So if he like water real bad or what because he's just staring at her very intensely.
I mean he had a dream that they were like in the same room he was naked.
It's complicated.
Okay.
Sadly, I must say no. You see someone awaits you in the Zemo.
Someone who doesn't like to be kept waiting.
Emperor Emile V. Emery's.
Oh, what are those on your left?
Emile Emery's terms with him.
The white flame dancing on the graves of his foes.
Dad, I remember among that group.
As far as I remember, last time we saw each other, he wanted to kill me.
Well, now he wishes to make you an offer.
The kind one can't refuse.
I didn't though I could have I really don't look purple to me
Guess I'm with him to hear him out the Emperor of Nilfgaard Lord of Metina ebbing and Gamera
Sovereign of Nazare and Vicovara would be honored. I'm sure yo electro. Oh, that's great
I'm going in the opposite direction
I somehow doubt the Emperor's invitation mentioned me
Besides, I've got things to do at Camel remember. Yeah
Now remember, thanks for your help, Fezamir. See you soon.
Bye, Vesminar.
How's your horse? Swift?
Can't complain. What do you ask?
I'd like to be back behind some thick city walls as soon as possible.
Horseback riding together?
Where am I? Where am I? Wait, where is she?
Ah, yes, we're on horse. I'm fine.
Ha ha ha!
You know, I've been thinking about you recently.
What a weird thing to do.
Thank you.
Happy lunch day.
But then...
But then what?
It's not over!
Don't move it!
Get the fuck out of here!
What the fuck are these guys?
One of those times I've seen them is this beginning costume.
One of the times I've seen him is in the beginning costume.
Oh, Yelp, watch out!
Oh, no.
Ooh, that was smart.
Now!
Ooh!
Crazy, so crazy!
Um, um, there's every check of the day they do that.
Um, um, does every chapter start with a bathtub scene?
What is going on again, man?
Three ladies to give him a bath.
That's crazy.
It's mis-suffice.
He must have been...disgusting.
Think in your cares, I'm clean.
The gentleman will refer to his Imperial Majesty by his full title or not at all.
The gentleman will be seated on the berger.
The what now?
In the...chair.
Kletwin, we save the gentleman's sideburns to half an inch.
What?
What's wrong with the beard?
What's up the wrong with my beard? That's what I would say if I was a man.
I mean this guy's five o'clock shadow looks like shit!
Shit!
Life?
The license beard? I mean, yeah, shave it off.
I don't know.
Pet life?
He put pet life on his face.
This guy, he abarbered you.
No, Mufran Vorius, commander of the Albert division.
Yennefer's escort.
Escort?
I remind you all, indeed were, for none have returned
to visit your home.
I truly wonder what happened on the road yesterday.
Perhaps you could enlighten me.
You have time and a razor to your throat.
Wild Hunt killed them.
So Wild Hunt is those skeleton guys?
Wild Hunt killed them.
The cavalcade of wraiths dashing across the night sky.
These omens of war the peasantry bubbles abound.
Expect me to believe that.
Frankly, I don't really give a damn.
Haha!
Damn, babe!
We can make you shave you and clothe you, but teaching your manners, that will be a challenge.
Nice meeting you too.
Done.
Shall I shave him once more, against the grain?
No.
He himself is very much against the grain.
That's enough.
Farewell, witcher.
Or rather, see you soon.
I'll see you soon.
Good. Now the gentleman may dress.
You got something on your face.
Sadly, I did not receive exact measurements.
If the garments change, our tailor will adjust them.
I'm supposed to pick?
Uh, where's my clothes at?
He's saying that he's stinky.
Uh...
Okay, there's this one.
Number one.
Number two, number three, I mean they're all kind of the same.
I guess I'm gonna take this one.
We are dressed and ready.
Black suits the gentleman.
Does the outfit satisfy the gentleman?
I guess.
I studied doublet and the sword on my back.
That's what would satisfy me.
It's a tough one in Wolfgard.
Yes?
It's a saying.
So what now?
How do my nose?
No need.
The gentleman's complexion is light enough.
The gentleman is to stand before the ruler of the north and south.
I must confirm that he knows how to bow.
I'm not a boar, I know how to bow.
I'm not some boar, I know how to bow.
Please, demonstrate!
That, sir, is how you might bow to a whore on a street corner,
not the Emperor of Nilfgaard.
What? That was fine!
Leg extended, hand flat, head down, chin to chest.
The gentleman will rehearse.
Oh, I forgot what he said.
I
Guess I guess but we've learned to expect less of north. It's like he was dabbing. Yeah, look like he was dabbing, bro
The gentleman will address the emperor
Emperor only when asked to and you see the appropriate type you are arched in the
city I see the gentleman is in the mood for just I fear the Emperor might not
share his disposition your majesty will surprise spoken loudly clearly and with
respect okay whatever you say sir
Nope.
In grimy and arth-cater.
Dithinaden in karn and marwut.
Emir var emrace.
Emir van emrace.
Just do it bro, just do it.
Good job bro.
Your Imperial Majesty.
Arer et do orde.
Avelia namin vat gan faford.
Soy?
I thought you would kill me or something.
I don't want to die.
I thought you bowed before no man.
Oh!
Oh, my bad.
Didn't want to disappoint the chamberlain.
We're friends
Well then
Take it you didn't summon me to reminisce about the good old days so silence
My daughter Surila she's returned and
She's in danger. She looks like such a wild hunt as she's a asshole child
You will find her and bring her to me
You don't know where your daughter is?
Are you sure?
Siri.
Oh wait, Siri!
I went far, far away.
Do you believe I dragged you here in the middle of a war to discuss a rumor?
I think anyone can be wrong, even an emperor.
I had forgotten how insolent you can be.
I haven't the time to convince you nor the desire, in fact.
Yennefer will do that after the audience
Why me how many men in your army 20,000 30 so why me you know why because she trusts you
She trusts me. She looks past. She does not want to be wearing that dress
Now it's about me. Oh, no last years for reasons of state as always
Only doing this for Ciri.
Janeth will tell you the rest. This audience is finished. Mirror it! Take him to the sorcerers.
To Janeth, huh? CCCC.
Follow me, if the gentleman pleases, please keep close, there are many honourable guests
in the palace whom the gentleman disgusts, need not bother.
Wow, I'm having you, oh my goodness, so needy.
She only does this when I'm streaming, when I'm playing games and I'm not streaming,
He does not give up at all.
She has no compassion when she knows that I'm busy.
I love that guy.
Well, when I try to take my hand away, she grabs it with her little paws.
Ow!
I mean to me a filter.
Oh, my handbag!
Make way!
I can't eat.
You'll be teeth has saying things for twenty-seven months?
Once the gentleman is done, he should lead to retrieve his possessions.
He wants the gentleman, he's strong, he's sharp and good.
Yes?
Enough for her, my lady.
Geralt, that tunic, you look positively smashing.
Dying to take it off.
I'd consider that a proposition under different circumstances.
Whoa!
But we've matters to attend to.
Now do you understand why the enemy is caught?
And seems we're in the same boat now see she's really back no chance he's mistaken
Look
That's more or less what she looks like now or so our agents clean. She's grown up
Our little witch has grown into a young lady
Oh
How about that she's grown up
It's been years since you trained together at Camon.
The great deal has changed.
You haven't.
Not a bit.
Kitty.
I missed those awkward compliments of yours.
But let's focus on Sarah.
She's staring at me like she's going to jump off if she's not going to.
Right.
Amir said the wild hunts after her.
I'd find it hard to believe.
Turnbull!
Thanks for 13 months.
How did they track us down?
Huh?
Dude, I hate that feet bathtub, you know. That's horrible.
That's a horrible, horrible, you know.
Yeah, she does have my size.
risk another encounter like that it's time to put away the magic turned into
more traditional methods to the best
Garot yeah oh my god your mind and Ricky thanks for too much I've no clue
Garot might have written them to us but I don't have their address I know as much
So cursed. Oh my god, it's so ugly.
Probably you says you only take baths.
I do not do that with the dogs, bro.
Oh no.
agents you should get in touch with you that's it no passwords secret handshakes
none sorry to spoil your fun your boyhood fantasies about the crafts of the
trade all we have in no the grader unconformed reports rumors but there you
will have the help of our mutual acquaintance
Triss Merigold oh that's the other one that you guys say you like right sure
She'll be delighted to see the uh red-haired one. What about you? What will you do? I also know her from people
constantly playing her. There was a magic explosion there recently, blew half a forest down. I believe
this had something to do with Ciri. I'll be in care trolled. Join me there once you've learned something.
Why are you constantly- Oh, he's like, I was so lonely without you Yennefer. Why didn't you try to call me?
me. Oh, I didn't want to spoil it. He's needy. Oh, I don't know, it's like that.
Thank you. It helped me understand how much I love you. I don't wish to hear it any of it
Yeah, I mean is that actually what happened? I don't know what happened in the other Witcher games
Guess this we need to split up again
Not my preference, but I understand clock's ticking it is indeed
So why don't I teleport you to them and get you there at once? Not gonna happen
This is a bad person. She took advantage of him your way. Oh, and wait, so like but she knew about Jennifer
This is a nicer person I see that there's a
What's happened in the world while you invest in the wilderness?
No, but that is fucked up and
and Geralt, I know it's more time. I don't like that. I think I'm teaming up her.
Just check those leads and come back to me in one piece. I should be waiting.
What? I thought she said she was mad at... whatever. Women and I... am I right? So confusing!
I don't think that would happen in my life.
She'd be like, fuck you, bro.
Citrus and cloves.
The fragrance will keep the gentleman's robes fresh is somewhat longer.
Actually both Triss and Yen are terrible women.
Hashtag team rose.
It's not done for his patients
Safe and sound as soon as possible
Mention something of the sort
The horse
You'll get another relationship later
Yes, I would like to know the drama who has the quest over here. Hello
What
I
I definitely feel like I have not gotten better, but I will try.
Oh, jeez.
Do I have to pick this one because I don't have enough cards in the other ones, right?
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't fuckin' know.
Not enough unit cards?
Oh wait, I'm putting them back, okay.
I was looking at the wrong side, there's a card to redraw.
I fucking suck.
What do you do?
Hi Matta.
Wait, what do I do?
I just gave that to him, didn't I?
Wait, am I fucked?
Read the cards?
You know what?
I think I'm just going to lose this one and play the other two.
I'll read the cards next time.
Don't worry.
Oh my gosh, yo, South pointy thanks for the six months
and Otter, Papico, thanks for the 26 months.
Did I miss the $1,000 case opening?
I have, wait, 10!
What the hell?
Ah, hell no.
What is going on dude?
Okay fuck this.
Dude!
Dude.
Am I going to lose?
I don't understand the spy cards.
Okay, I think I can do this.
Okay, what is this?
Maybe there's the sun- oh, clear weather.
Okay, so that cancels out.
Um, you can play the water card I guess.
What the fuck?
I still have my clear weather card.
It's over what the fuck why is he has such strong cars
cards. He just got way better cards than me, bro. I lost. Oh, minus five dollars for
me, dude. That's so sad. Cause he's rich. I know about those stupid ass sun cards. Oh
Oh my god, it's a rob-blind...
I have a fucking pay-to-win deck.
Holy shit.
Geralt's in Yennefer where you're my guy.
Something even more important happened in the Xevil.
Geralt learned that Cirilla, his longtime lord, had returned from afar, and she was in danger.
He was to find her at the Emperor's Command and Yennefer's behest.
Okay. Oh, beautiful.
Oh
Dead people
That's a griffin still on my horse.
Wild dive.
This horse can't even jump over a fence.
Come on, Roach.
Oh, he can jump.
Okay, well, I should have manually jumped.
I think I'm going to go to the Inn and then save for today, but I should be able to play
more tomorrow because my Pragmata sponsor is later in the evening.
So I'll probably play this before Pragmata.
No, I'll do the side cross.
Strangers coming! Run for your lives!
What? You're not baroning on?
Yo, Evan! Thanks for the 10 gifted! Thank you!
Thanks, Evan!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Much appreciated.
Uh, that's the crossroads? Am I on the right place?
Thank you, Alan! Thank you so much!
Thank you, Ketter.
Yo, oh, thank you for the five! Thanks, Oaf!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Yes, I will see if this guy has any cards.
Oh my gosh, King Kord, thank you for the time. Thank you. Thank you guys.
Shesh, shesh, shesh, shesh, shesh, shesh, shesh. Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
One for you, one for the monster.
Uh, care for a drink?
Oh no, no, no, we're too poor for that!
We're too poor for that!
I didn't- oh fuck, I wouldn't have done that if I knew.
There are several ways, and which way might yours be?
Not your business, bitch.
Is it just me, or is that none of your fucking business?
I must be hearing things.
You ain't a man to insult, I'll have to kill him then.
Oh, bother.
Let's try this fucking problem.
Well, here I go killing patrons in the inn again.
They love me for sure.
Barren's no idiot. Seriously doubt he'll think you locals cut his men down with farming implements. Now where's Hendrick?
Man lives in heaven. Don't know where that is. Other side of the hill.
The battle aeus mourn us for a strange glow. Imperials on the right side.
She's not stuck in a bag under my desk, sorry.
Anything else you can tell me about Hendrick? Odd fellow. A roi foo knows where and for no apparent reason.
Oh my gosh.
Shacked up with a widow whose husband was stabbed or struck a breath.
Baren's men don't like strangers.
I, he stays out their way.
Always seems to know when they're coming.
Always manages to disappear.
She went and took my food then just now too.
I think you can go back or the Baren's man in the village.
No need to worry about me.
I'd rather you not make any more trouble for yourself, for us both.
Okay, I think I shall save here for today, but I'm going to be streaming tomorrow too.
I'm probably streaming every single day during the week.
Next four or five days at least.
Alright, well, I'll play more Witcher tomorrow before I start Fragmata.
Yes, yeah, that's it for today, but I will be playing more tomorrow. I'll be continuing the story
Abandoned
Excuse me sir. What do you think you are doing?
What I just cast
Got you bitch
Hey, but he had a worst chicken leg.
Okay.
Alright, well, I will be back tomorrow, we'll play more tomorrow.
Thanks guys for hanging out today, it was very fun.
It was very, very fun.
you
you
you
you
you
you
You